Code Geass: Lelouch X Suzaku
by ayaheartright
Summary: What if being Zero wasn't the only thing that Lelouch was hiding from the world? How would Code Geass have gone differently if Lelouch was actually a girl pretending to be a boy while she was in hiding? Obviously this is a bit AU...got the idea from Romeo X Juliet. Oocness of Lelouch as parts of the story have changed.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Ok I decided to steal an idea from one of my fav. animes and morph it into a Code Geass fanfiction. I'm not sure yet how much I want to stay close to the cannon... I guess I will just see how it goes but at the moment I am planning on keeping the timeline pretty close until it diverges naturally. This is a romance fic but I am going to _attempt_ on having it be more of a side plot than anything else. Not sure if I am going to be able to handle that though since I adore luluxsuza pairing. This is probably the longest fic that I have ever attempted to write so if I get intimidated and don't update often enough (like you see tons of updates on my smut stuff but none here) then kick my ass in cyber space because I really want to do this!

I don't own Code Geass, obviously, if I did then I would have a lot more money :)

* * *

"You run like a girl, private, move your lazy ass! If you want to be ever be considered anything other than a dirty Eleven pick up those legs!" The General yelled at the top of his lungs. A large vein popped out of his forehead and to the boy in question it looked like he was ready to kill. That was to be expected though. It didn't matter that Suzaku had received his title of a Honary Britannian already. He knew that wasn't going to change how he was treated right away.

In terms of hazing he felt that he should be grateful that the only thing he had to endure so far from his new unit was an extra 30 laps around the track. In boot camp his group were treated little more than dogs. It could have been worse though, he heard a story from when numbers were first permitted to enter the military. Purists would enlist as drill sergeants and put elevens through hellish conditions to prove that they weren't worthy to fight in along side britannians. Never mind that the men in those units were barely given any food, water, and were forced to do three times the activities as their britiannian counterparts.

"Sir yes, Sir!" Suzaku yelled out.

The rest of the group had already retired for the night but strangely he didn't mind doing the extra work. Eventually he would be recognized for his skills as a fighter, it was only a matter of time. He was the fastest, most agile soldier of anyone he knew and recently a special experimental section of the military had taken interest in him. Others told him that it was because the military wouldn't risk a true britannian on a faulty knightmare; however, the fact that they would consider an eleven to pilot a knightmare was astonishing. Usually even simulation training was off limits to numbers.

When Suzaku finished his final lap his superior only scoffed and walked off without any other acknowledgement. By this time the base would be ghost town sans for a few soldiers that were given guard duty for the night. Formally they were supposed to break up any fights among eleven and britannian soldiers but that rarely ever happened. Due to this most eleven soldiers would retire early rather than drink and socialize with their 'peers' at night.

Suzaku was under age so it didn't matter much to him either way. He couldn't help but smile at the thought as he wandered absently though the empty streets. There were no restrictions on age when it came a person dying for their country but that same person had to be at least 21 in order to order alcohol to take the edge off.

It wasn't until he was standing on top of the roof of his dorm building that Suzaku realized that he was feeling nostalgic. Normally he would burry memories of the past by keeping active. Maybe that's why he never minded running… subconsciously he felt if he ran fast enough he would run away from the choices that he made as a kid.

"Would you have still asked me to protect you if you knew what I did, Lulu?" He said absently leaning over the rail.

It was nights like this that always made him think of Lelouch and Nunnaly. When the nights were clear with lots of stars he would remember the night that all three of them snuck out of his father's house to catch a ghost. Suzaku would never have admitted it but he was just as afraid as Nunnaly was to be out at night but Lelouch on the other hand showed no fear. Rather, a lengthy explanation as to why ghosts couldn't exist was given.

They stayed out almost all night eventually falling asleep under the stars. Lelouch was determined to treat Nunnaly like a normal girl back then, including her in all the games they played. They had taken turns carrying as they made their way into the woods. Of course no ghosts did show up but that wasn't what Lelouch was really looking for. Instead it was the night sky, to be able to see all the stars that way maybe the one that Marianne had become would be visible. The thought process was that since they were family it would be easy to pick out as long as it could be seen. Like picking out your mom in a crowd of people at a party.

Suzaku considered searching them out when he was reassigned to Tokyo: the place that Lelouch and Nunnaly were headed. There were friends there that could take care of them. Take care of them better than Suzaku's relatives could at least. They were no longer considered equal no matter how important they were before the war.

"I hope you guys made it okay."

* * *

"This used to be a lot easier to hide when I was a kid." Lelouch mumbled staring at the reflection in the mirror. It was a beautiful young man with lavender eyes and sloppy jet-black hair. He was short, though not so much to draw attention to the fact; however, that paired with a lean frame made him look positively feminine. Thankfully that sort of thing was in style and the girls at school were absolutely enchanted with how he reminded them of their favorite girly boy anime characters.

Everything that the girls loved about Lelouch were the traits that caused the male students to hate him. Well, scratch that, 75% of the male students hated him. The other 25% voted to dress "Lulu" up as a girl during any festival, school play, or casual Friday. Freshman cultural festival was the only time that the class voted by a show of hands and Lelouch was _still_ bitter about the experience. At least, at 13 there wasn't much to hide. After that experience Milly would use her influence as the dean's daughter to persuade the class president to take votes by ballot and skew the numbers.

"Nii-chan, are you going to eat breakfast before you leave?"

"I'll be done in a minute, Nunnaly. Go ahead and start without me!" Lelouch yelled back and readjusted the ace bandages one more time before throwing on a white undershirt and school jacket. It was becoming harder and harder to hide her chest lately. It was bound to happen eventually Lelouch wasn't going to stay flat chested forever. Yet, until last year she was starting to give up hope that she was ever going to hit puberty.

In hindsight if Lelouch was going to disguise herself as a boy it was silly to wish for a beautiful curvaceous form. Logically, and she was **very** logically minded, Lelouch knew that she should be grateful that her boyish figure lasted as long as it did. Instead, when no one was looking she couldn't help but dream about what she would look like with long hair flowing down to her waist wearing flirty dress on her first date.

That could never happen though. She made this decision to protect her and Nunnaly. There wasn't much that could be done to hide her blind and crippled sister other than keep her in physical hiding, which is what had been done. Nunnaly had never left Ashford academy since their arrival almost seven years prior. She could go to her classes and participate in school activities but that was about it.

A wave of guilt washed over Lelouch. Giving up her gender was a small price to pay considering everything that Nunnaly had lost. Sometimes she wondered if keeping Nunnaly imprisoned was really giving her freedom but she seemed happy. They had made a home in the student council clubhouse and the members had become their family.

* * *

**Read and review please! I'm happy with this chapter but still feel like it's a little choppy. I have a bad habit of making into chapters way too introspective but I would rather do that then jump right into plot... at least that's my excuse. **


	2. Chapter 2: Episode One

A/n: Ok I lied. I got really excited and SOMEHOW managed to pump out a super long chapter. You're welcome. Love me by reviewing. Or don't love me by reviewing. Either way let me know what you think.

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**Episode One: Birth of a ****Demon... I mean,**** an Awkward Situation**

"Shh.. shh. You'll wake him up. He looks so cute when he is sleeping!"

"No wait. Now is your chance, Sarah. No one is around you should ask him."

"I should just wake him up and say it?"

"Yeah, maybe you will catch him off guard and he will agree!"

Lelouch groaned in her sleep and swatted her hand in the air like one would to a fly. When the group of girls didn't stop talking she conceded to and lifted her head from the desk. Normally she would be more tactical at sleeping during class but some reason she just didn't care. Call it woman's intuition but she felt like she would need all the comfortable naps she could get today.

"Um. Lelouch? Class has been over for a while. It's lunch time now." One of the girls said timidly after Lelouch had finished yawning.

"Oh. Um. Thank you." She said in a muffled response. One of the worst parts of sleeping in class was that it took forever to wake up. It was like she never got the right amount of sleep to actually feel rested afterwards.

"I-I made you a lunch if you want to join me." Lelouch's eye widened and looked down at the nicely wrapped container that the girl was holding. Shit, homemade food was a sure sign of a declaration. "I would really like it if you did cause I-I-um. I LOVE YOU LELOUCH!" At the last part the girl's face turned beet and she closed her eyes as she yelled her confession.

An awkward silence filled the room.

"Um. I um. I really appreciate that but I just want to focus on my studies. I'll catch you around." Lelouch said hastily. The girls gave infuriated looks before stomping out of the room. Lelouch couldn't help but flinch at how upset Sarah looked. She had immediately started sobbing when she heard the rejection.

* * *

"Focus on your studies?! Come on, buddy, you are usually way more eloquent than that!" Rival said after he finally stopped laughing. It was a miracle that he hadn't crashed his motorcycle considering that he was practically doubled over and in tears for the past five minutes.

"They caught me off guard. You shouldn't wake someone up with a love confession." Lelouch said absently as she started at the passing scenery of the Tokyo settlement. It all seemed so incredibly boring. That's why she begged Rival to find her a gambling client on their free period today.

"Alright here we are, buddy. We are running a bit late so hurry up and pay the meter." Rival said and ran ahead into the fancy building.

Lelouch considered up at beautifully washed windows that shot up at least a hundred floors. She looked parking stub briefly before shoving it in her pocket. They were parked in front of a lavish downtown hotel that was popular with the nobles. At least she knew she was going to get paid.

"The text said meeting room number 53." Rival said excitedly as she entered the building. He gestured for her to follow and they made their way their way through the corridor. Lelouch was always a sucker for grand entrances and theatrics so when they finally reached the room she asked rival to open both doors slowly and dramatically for her.

"Oh thank goodness! Is everything ok at school?" An old balding man said and jumped up out of the chair that he was sitting in. So Rival signed her up for a tag team match with Mr. McCharacter again. That poor guy was always getting himself into matches that he couldn't handle.

"Oh? A student are you?" The fat ugly nobleman said from across the chess table. He was rudely sharpening his nails while he looked Lelouch up and down as if sizing his worth.

"Oh, a nobleman, are you?"

"How nice for you youngun's, to have so much free time. So much time for regret. What's your name?"

Lelouch inwardly laughed at the man's statement. She sized up the chessboard as she asked Rival how long she had to finish the game to be able to get back to class in time.

"Lelouch Lamperouge. This will be over in 9 minutes." She said flatly and sat down in the oversized chair. She picked up her king piece and moved it one spot to the left. This game was in the bag.

* * *

"You aren't going to mourn?"

"What about you, Rival?"

"I'd be embarrassed."

"True enough. Besides, our tears won't bring the dead back to life." Lelouch said coldly.

At least if she was cold she wouldn't let the truth of her emotions come through. She never believed those Britannian news updates. They were always skewed in favor of the royal family so she could barely believe what was really happening. Besides, she had seen enough dead bodies travelling through post war Japan with Suzaku that she was fairly desensitized to the idea of death.

"No matter how much we try, the world won't change. " She said staring up the giant monitor. The statement was more to herself than Rival. She had been trying to figure out a way to end Britannia since she was ten and has yet to figure out a way for a small group of people to do anything other than be a nuisance.

The ride back was mostly silent sans for a bit of idle chitchat here and there. Lelouch hated yelling over the wind and engine of the bike. She would prefer to read when she was in the sidecar. Otherwise he would end up going on a rant about how much he liked Milly or how Lelouch should just date Shirley already.

Despite being a hormonal teenager there was nothing Lelouch hating talking about more than love drama. If she was honest with herself that would probably be because she was either doomed to never date anyone **ever,** or look gay. The last one didn't really bother her but what would happen when said boy found out that she was a girl? It was just too complicated. Besides even though it had been seven years she still wasn't ready to let go of—

She was pulled out of her thoughts when a crazed semi truck driver almost rear ended them.

"Um… Was that our fault?" Rival asked confused and stopped his bike at the side of the road.

People were beginning to gather to look at the wreckage. Like flies to feces the population couldn't get enough of other people's pain. Lelouch mumbled a profanity at the crowd of idiots and jumped over the ledge to help. There was a difference between being apathetic towards death and neglectful towards someone that needed help. The first one was being logical; not letting your feelings get too much in the way because there is nothing you can do about it besides just accept the circumstances. The second one is a character flaw of a civilization that was too caught up in themselves to actually care about another person's wellbeing.

"Hey! Are you alright? Can you hear me?" She yelled as she ran towards the truck.

It didn't matter that the driver almost killed them because he or she had been so reckless; what mattered is that she had to help. What would the world be like if everyone was like that? Then maybe she wouldn't have to worry about Nunnaly so much. If the world wasn't such a cruel place Nunnaly wouldn't have to hide.

_I've found you. My.. _A strange voice appeared in Lelouch's head. She began to feel dizzy and sick, as if she was being invaded somehow. Ironically at the same time she was concerned with her balance the truck started backing up causing her to fall into the opened trailer.

"Stop the vehicle immediately. Our next shot will hit you! Stop immediately!" A loud voice boomed over a speaker. Lelouch could hear gunshots as she slammed into the wall as the truck swerved.

"Really?! I'm stuck here with fucking terrorists?!" She practically screamed.

* * *

"Our goal is the recovery of the weapon the terrorists stole. Search the entirety of the Eleven's Shinjuku ghetto. Report in when you've found them. The CA group will apprehend them." Suzaku heard the voice say over his intercom. He had been briefed on the mission at hand. A terrorist group had stolen poisonous gas and was planning on releasing it among Britannian citizens.

At the moment they were somewhere in the ghetto. That's why honorary Britannian soldiers were brought in. The military thought that the elevens would be able to navigate the area better than a Britannian. Never mind that he had never even been inside the Shinjuku ghetto before; Suzaku was the first to sign up. He had to help them. He had to help the people in the ghetto that was going to get involved in this mess.

This is why terrorism never worked and only leads to suffering. Innocent people were always hurt. It would be so much better if the Japanese people would just accept the rule that Britannia had over them. Then they could move forward and change the world through the system that already existed. There was no reason to fight it.

"You may be honorable Britannian citizens now, but you were once Elevens. Cleanse their monkey stench from this land. Your heroism in this operation will contribute greatly to your standing! Now is the time to prove your loyalty to the Britannian Empire!"

"Yes, my lord." Suzaku said back into his intercom though his heart was not in it. It will take a while for things to transformation but some day the idea of Elevens will change. Right now there was nothing he could do about it besides run forward into the subway tunnel.

"Thank goodness." He said when he saw the truck get wedged in a crack in the cement. Using his night vision goggles he assessed the situation at hand while he reached for his communicators. No one has to get hurt if the military can catch them right here, away from the civilians.

A movement caught his attention and Suzaku instantly ran towards the poison gas unit. There was no way he was going to let the terrorists get away, or worse, use the device here out of desperation. He gave a swift spinning kick at the person in question and pinned him down.

"A Britannian?" He said slightly confused. He let the bottom half of his mask fall down to question the terrorist. "Don't kill any more!"

"I'm not-"

"Poison gas?" He said back, cutting off any sort of excuse. He couldn't help but feel his blood boil thinking that someone would stoop so low as to use a weapon of mass destruction. "Don't play dumb!" He yelled and pushed the person down when he tried to get up.

"I'm telling you…" The boy said and kicked in the general direction of Suzaku. It seemed pretty feeble but rather than get in a fistfight Suzaku figured the better idea was to jump back. The rest of the military would be there soon. He couldn't let himself get distracted by his anger towards one person.

"Britannia made that poison gas, didn't it?" The boy said as he stood up. The voice didn't sound very masculine though. If it wasn't for the clothes and lack of a chest he noticed when he had the terrorist pinned down, Suzaku could have sworn that he was fighting a female.

He watched as the person continued to walk towards him and Suzaku felt his heart skip a beat. Jet-black hair and lavender eyes wasn't that common of a combination… especially not in Japan. There was no way it could be Lelouch though, since Lelouch was a girl. This person seemed like a girl nevertheless, even though he or she didn't look like it.

Somehow he just knew it was Lulu in front of him. It didn't matter that they had been away from each other for almost seven years. There was no way to explain it the voice, the hair, the eyes, and definitely the body were all different it was still the same Lulu.

"You don't want any more deaths?" He said with a shaking voice. He knew people changed over the years but he couldn't believe that Lelouch would be involved in a terrorist organization harming innocent citizens.

"Then destroy the Britannian Empire!" Her voice was shaking ask she said it. Suzaku could feel the same hatred coming off of her that he felt those days so long ago. He knew he had found her.

"Lulu?" Suzaku asked. Even though he knew the answer already in his heart, his head was still a little slow. He didn't want to be wrong. He didn't want to be standing here wanting to grab onto some random stranger inside an abandoned semi truck.

He felt comforted when he saw recognition flash on her face. "It's me, Suzaku." He said as he removed the helmet off his head. He was certain that he had the stupidest grin on his face but it didn't matter. That's what a person looks like after seeing their first love after seven years.

A blush flashed over Lelouch's face as she stared up at, literally, the last person she expected to see. She would have been less shocked to see her fucking father were to waltz in from a benty than to see her Suzu standing there in a military uniform. She shook her head and took a step back. _No it couldn't be him_, she thought as tears started to pour from her eyes.

How many times had she wished that she could be with Suzaku again? To be able to tell him the feelings that she had that she didn't even understand until recently? To tell him that even after all these years she still loved him?

"You-You became a Britannian soldier?!" It wasn't meant to come out as a scream but that's how it happened. She felt overwhelming joy for seeing him again but at the same time she wanted to kill him.

"And what are you?" Suzaku replied. He still didn't want to believe that Lelouch was a terrorist but if that were the truth he would just have to accept it.

The poison gas was opening. A bright green light shone through the whole area and Suzaku did the only thing that he could think of. He tackled Lelouch and forced his gas mask on her. He couldn't loose her again. He covered his mouth with his hand doubting that it would make much of a difference. He had been wishing for death for years, but why, when he finally found a reason to live on, did it have to happen?

"That's not poison gas." He said dumbfounded when a girl in a bdsm straight jacket came out of the tank. She looked at them for a moment before passing out onto the floor.

"What the fuck?!" Lelouch whispered.

This was one of the few times in her life that she was completely and utterly confused. She knew that the military was fucked up but she didn't know that they were fucked up enough to be involved in sex slavery. She was so confused that she didn't even notice that Suzaku was holding her until **after** he got up to investigate the strange women.

"Does this look like poison gas to you?" She said as she pulled the mask down from the girls face to examine for any injuries.

"But in the briefing, they said…"

"Damn monkeys! Even a genuine Britannian isn't permitted to touch that" They both looked up startled when a loud voice and bring lights were directed towards them. Despite all her usual tough exterior Lelouch couldn't help but flinch at the number of military personal that were staring at them. She watched helplessly as Suzaku ran up to the officer who was addressing them.

"But I was told it was poison gas!" He yelled when he reached his superior.

"You have no right to question us!" The man yelled back.

"This is bad." Lelouch said to herself. Sex slavery was poison indeed. If it were to get out that the military was involved with something like this it would bring problems to Suzaku's superiors. She listened intently to the conversation before her as she held the poor girl in her arms.

"Private Kurarugi, use this to kill the terrorist."

"She's not! S-He's just a civilian; caught up in all of this!" Suzaku still didn't know why Lelouch was dressed like a man but chances are it wasn't without a reason. He looked at her lovingly as he said the words. There was no way that Lelouch was a terrorist. She was just trying to help people.

"That is an order. You swore allegiance to Britannia!" Lelouch flinched at the words. It was true if Suzaku was a private in the military he would have no choice but to shoot her or else risk punishment himself. She whimpered and tried to think of a way out of this. Should she give herself away? No that would be foolish. This man would never believe that she was a princess. That was the whole reason she dressed like this to make who she is less obvious.

"That's true…" Lelouch cringed at the words she heard. She didn't want to believe that Suzaku had become that corrupt. "But I cannot. I will not kill a civilian." She breathed a sigh of relief. It hurt slightly to hear Suzaku refer to her as just a 'civilian' but it made her happy too. It wasn't just her he couldn't shoot. That was comforting.

"Then die." Lelouch heard, but didn't register the words until after she saw Suzaku fall to the ground.

"SUZAKU!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. She saw the murder's mouth move but whatever he was saying was lost on her. She was shaking and crying uncontrollably; nothing else mattered. Suzaku died right in front of her and there was nothing she could do. It felt like the world was falling apart.

* * *

Her whole body hurt. It didn't matter that the truck just exploded next to her. That wasn't why there was this pain coursing through her. The girl with the green hair grabbed onto her wrist and forced her up.

"Get up. Do you really have nothing to live for?" The girl with the green hair said in an eerie voice.

_Nunnaly_. With that one thought Lelouch pushed her sorrow down and forced herself to run away to where ever the green haired girl was taking her. There was still something for Lelouch to live for, to fight for. As long she had her little sister she had to move forward; she had to be strong.

They came up to a stairwell and Lelouch pushed the girl's head down as she quickly ducked herself. There were soldiers up there. Her adrenaline was pumping so hard that she felt knew everything about her surroundings. She heard them yelling and then a small child cry. When she heard gunshots and then silence Lelouch swore she was going to vomit right then. It was the invasion all over again. They were killing random people.

She was pulled out of her thought by the sound of her phone ringing. "Fuck," she whispered and quickly silenced the call. It was too late; however, they had been had. Within seconds soldiers were on them. She was going to die anyways.

There was no way out. She was thrown against a wall with guns pointed at her. Realistically she should have been scared out of her mind but at that last moment she felt nothing but rage. They killed Suzaku and god knows how many other people. They were going to kill her and the sex slave. There was nothing she could do about it.

"Don't kill her!" Lelouch looked up from the ground to see the other girl run out to take a bullet for her. She reached out to her with shaking hands. The adrenaline was starting to wear off and be replaced by mind numbing fear. She was hopeless.

Just as Lelouch's fingertips brushed the side of the girl's arm she came to life. A new world was opened up and Lelouch saw and felt sparks flying around her. She was inside of her head, literally. She could see the nerve endings of her brain firing off.

"You don't want it to end, do you?" It was the same voice as before. Lelouch didn't realize it until just then that the voice that she heard in her head when she fell into the truck and the voice of this girl was the same.

"It seems you have a reason to live. If you had strength you could live. This is our contract. In return for my gift of power, you must grant one wish of mine. If you enter this contract, you will live as a human, but also one completely different. Different rules, different time, a different life… The power of the king will make you lonely indeed. If you are prepared for that, then.."

Lelouch had no clue what was going on. She was so confused but if she could get out of this… if she could protect Nunnaly… If she could live she would enter any contract.

"I will enter your contract!" She yelled inside her head.

As if nothing ever happened her consciousness returned to the present moment. She was kneeling over the dead girl and some military asshole was laughing at her. This was wrong this was all wrong.

"Don't you know that only those who are willing to be shot can shoot others?!" She said fiercely. It was as if nothing had changed but at the same time everything did too. There was power coercing through her veins that she didn't understand. "If you are going to kill someone then you have to be willing to die in return. YOU MURDERS SHOULD ALL JUST DIE!" She screamed.

At that moment she felt something odd, as if her words had just become a reality. Her hand hovered underneath her left eye as something unbelievable happened: All of the soldiers who were in front of her changed stances and pointed their guns to their heads.

"Yes, your highness." Each and every one of them shot themselves in the head. Lelouch started shaking as she reached up to feel warm blood on her cheek. She just killed them. She had **no** clue how but in her heart she knew that her words could control others.

"I'm going to be sick." She said right before she collapsed on the floor and began to vomit up anything and everything she had ever eaten.

* * *

A/N part 2: Phew. I feel like I am cheating sticking so close to the cannon but I really didn't have much that I wanted to change in episode one. At first I felt kind of guilty changing Lelouch's personality so much but then I realized I turned her into a girl. Girl Lelouch can have the mouth of a sailor and be emotional because she's my character, well, sort of.

Also. I made the LuLuxSuzu reunion REALLY REALLY CUTE. :Happy Dance:

Oh yeah. I hope you cracked up laughing at how I described C.C. Please tell me that I am not the only one that thought of kinky sex when she came out of that tank.


	3. Chapter 3: Episode Two

**Episode Two: Shades of Grey. A Knight in Jaded Armor. **

Lelouch had lost track of how long she had been there. It couldn't have been too long considering that the sun had not set yet and it was already afternoon when all **this **had started. Regardless it felt like an eternity. She felt tired enough to assume that she had been awake for an eternity, at least. She wanted to just fall asleep and wake up at home like nothing had happened.

Her arms were covered in tiny red marks. It didn't matter how many times she pinched herself she never woke up from this nightmare. Plus a person isn't supposed to be able to feel anything in a dream and Lelouch could definitely feel the pain in her legs from running, the emptiness in her heart, and the burning in her throat from her reaction to inadvertently killing a group of people. There was no way this was a dream. This fucked up situation was reality, whatever that even meant.

"Is this why you gave me this strange power? Who _are_you?" Rationally Lelouch knew that the girl wasn't going to respond. Her pulse had been checked at least a half a dozen times to see if she really was dead. Then again, at this point logic was out the window so anything could happen. Maybe that's why Lelouch hadn't moved from this grotesque scene: because she thought somehow she could defy logic and bring them back to life. It wasn't too far fetched, considering she defied logic when she caused them all to commit suicide.

She was brought out of her depressive musing by the sound of a crash not too far away. _That's right, there is a massacre going on outside and here I am wallowing in self-pity and remorse. _If she really had this god like power, this gift of kings then she should use it. Maybe she could do something to stop all this.

The knightmare that broke in through the wall was heading towards her. It's now or never. _I'm not going to die here. I have to make a new world for Nunnaly._

"What happened here? What is a Britannian student like you doing here? Answer me, or..."

Lelouch held her breath as he listened the woman speak over the intercom. If she could get that knightmare then she could turn it around. It was certain. She already knew the basic piloting skills from playing around in the old Ganymede underneath Ashford when no one was looking. Plus she could probably hack the communication systems pretty easily and, then.. wing it.

"Get out of there and give me your knightmare!" She ordered the woman in what seemed like a commanding voice.

"Who do you think you are?"

It hadn't worked. She felt that her new power was still in tact so that couldn't be the issue. Eye contact must be established for a person to be controlled. She held up her hands and apologized to the pilot, determined to give a good show.

"My name is Alan Spacer. My father is a duke. I have my ID card in my breast pocket. After you confirm my identity, I'd like to request your protection." She said her voice shaking. She didn't need to pretend to be freaking out; that cat was already in the bag. Hopefully the lie wouldn't be too hard to believe and would carry enough weight to have the pilot leave the mecha. It was more believable than saying that she was estranged royalty, at least.

"Keep your hands up. I'll take your ID card out of your pocket." The tan, scantily clad, silver haired woman said she lowered herself from her cockpit. She glared at Lelouch as she walked towards her, gun raised and ready to shoot.

"Give me your knightmare." Lelouch said when the woman was close enough to see the whites of her eyes. It was better to be safe than sorry. She knew that it had worked because she had that same strange feeling as when she made the contract. It was as she could feel the circuits of the other person's brain rewiring to make them a puppet. For a brief moment Lelouch felt that she was going to be sick again.

"Very well. The code is XG2-ID2D4." The woman said and threw the keys to Lelouch.

"Um. Thank you." Lelouch said after she felt the strange tingling in her eye go away. The least she could do is be polite if she was going to take over someone's mind. That made it slightly better, right? She walked over to the woman and waved a hand over her face. "Hello?"

There was no response. There must be some sort of safety mechanism or something put into place. It probably wears off after the order has been fulfilled. Lelouch hoped that this poor person wasn't going to be stuck there for the rest of her life as a vegetative statue.

"Alright, let's do this." She said as the knightmare doors closed in around her. She fiddled with the controls for a brief moment before feeling comfortable enough to leave. This is what Suzaku would have wanted: To save all these people. This was the least she could do. There wasn't an excuse to run away and hide anymore.

* * *

The pain wasn't as bad as Suzaku expected it to be. Granted, he had never been shot before so he really didn't know what expect; however, the capacity to function just a few hours later wasn't it. He groaned at the sound of chatter around him and slowly lifted himself into a seated position. It seemed like his head hurt more than his side. The pieces of what exactly happened were still floating around the ether somewhere.

"Too bad!" He blinked a few times to clear his vision when a silver mop came strangely close to his own face. Silver hair, glasses, and no sense of manner; this had to be Professor Llyod. Suzaku had heard of Llyod from Cecile during the few times that she had visited him when collecting combat data.

"You were so close to those pearly gates, Private First Class Kururugi!" If Suzaku wasn't so disoriented he probably would have noticed the odd expression on the man's face. He seemed oddly happy and excited to be telling someone that they just barely cheated death. As if he was more fascinated by the idea than at all sympathetic.

"Ah-Um. Where am I?" Suzaku said asked, finally processing his surroundings. He didn't appear to be in a hospital, but rather a small box with little more than a first aid kit.

"Oh, you're still in the Shinjuku ghetto."

"We're near Prince Clovis, so it's really the safest place to be..." Suzaku looked up at Cecile when she addressed him. Unlike her counterpart, a worried expression was on her face. "Suzaku, this thing saved you." She said, handing him a pocket watch that was wrapped in damp linen. The blood had been cleaned off of it, leaving only a crack in the glass face to indicate recent events.

"It just barely kept the bullet that punctured your combat suit from killing you, though. I hear Elevens believe there's a god for every object. This kind of thing-" Lyold said as if he was rambling off a random fact such as the location of silver on the periodic table.

Suzaku stared down at his father's watch with a blank mask on his face. If he were a bitter person he probably would have laughed at the idea of being saved by such a thing. He had no right to be saved by a memento of his father. If he was more like Lelouch then maybe he could have felt something other than unworthiness.

"Um. Lelou-" Suzaku started to ask in a panicked voice.

He couldn't believe that he had forgotten until that moment. Granted, due to recent events it would have been prudent to believe that seeing her was a dream. It would have made a lot more sense to believe that he was wounded for some other mundane reason, not because he found out a military secret with his long lost love. Yet, the pulling in his heart told him that it was real.

"What's the situation?" He asked instead, subconsciously separating himself from the events. A mechanical feeling came over him as he braced himself for the worst. He hadn't been able to protect her.

"I hear they got control of the poison gas," The mechanical feeling quickly replaced anything else that Suzaku was feeling as he listened to Llyod talk. "Though the Elevens met with significant casualties."

"It looks like the culprit hasn't been caught, though." Cecile said in a somber voice.

It was a miracle that Suzaku could refrain from shouting at that news. Lelouch's quick whit not withstanding, there didn't seem anyway out of the situation he left her in. He breathed a sigh of relief that seemed to go unnoticed to the couple in front of him. She was still out there.

"Private First Class Kurarugi, do you have any experience piloting a Knightmare Frame?" Lylod asked with a sly grin on his face.

"Of course not! A former Eleven cannot become a Knight!"

"And what if you could?"

* * *

Fuck. It really was like the invasion. Lelouch looked in horror at the spectacle before her. She had barely moved the knightmare a few blocks before the memories left her immobile. It was as if she was ten again, viewing this carnage for the first time. She could practically feel the weight of Nunnaly on her back from when her and Suzaku would take turns carrying her. _I was a fool to think that I could change this. _

If it weren't so silent in the cockpit Lelouch never would have heard the faint crackling of a radio. She pulled it out of the breast pocket of her jacket and turned up the volume full blast.

"I'll run interference while you get these people out!" Someone was there. There were still people fighting. Her mind was racing. What should she do? This whole winging it thing wasn't working out too well. She figured something would just click, just like how this strange power came out of nowhere, so would the knowledge on how to get out here.

Just then something caught her attention. The little figures on the computer screen looked hilariously similar to an old Atari strategy game, or a strange variation or stratego, or chess. That she could handle. As long as it wasn't people with friends, family, and a pet bunny named fluffy she could do this. All she had to do was shut off her anterior insular cortex.*

"Shirley, do you see anything odd on the news? Specifically in the Shinjuku Ghetto?" She asked in a rude tone when the phone connected.

"No. They are saying it's a traffic jam but there doesn't seem to be a reason."

"Good. Tell Nunnally I will be home late. Thanks." She said and quickly turned off her phone before Shirley could call back. It would be difficult for them to get reinforcements in if the operation is currently a secret. That meant that the pieces on the board were the only ones in play. _It's just like a game._

Lelouch took a deep breath and contacted whoever was on the other end of the communicator. She knew how to handle this.

"Go West!" She yelled to whoever was on the other end. "Use the last of your energy to get to the western exit."

"Who are you? How did you get this frequency?" The voice on the other end was barely audible over the crackling of the cheap devices. Yet Lelouch understand the words and hoped that she could be understood also.

"It doesn't matter. If you wish to **win **then just trust me." There was either winning or losing and thankfully Lelouch always won any defense game. She was grateful when she saw the dots move in the way that she had predicted. It was just moving pieces.

"I'll give you everything in that train as a present. A tool, to win this fight. If you wish to use it and stand victorious, listen to my commands!" Lelouch yelled out in a deep commanding voice. Milly's love for theatrics had definitely rubbed off on her. She waited for confirmation that everyone was situated in his or her knightmares; too afraid that if she watched it would break her of her facade.

"P-1, can you move? It should be fairly similar to the others you have piloted. Q-1 is on its way. The enemy's Sutherlands will be there in twenty-five seconds." It made sense to use the names of chess pieces for the names of the different knightmares. It was either that or a 1 through 9 systems with her being listed at the Spy piece. The latter fit the terrain better but wasn't as efficient of a system during communications.

She watched as a large orange box with the words "Lost" flashed on her screen. They really did move like a game. At this point Lelouch had completely rewired her thought process, which made her able to give commands without worrying about a human life.

"P-1, P-4. P-7, move three hundred meters to the right, and fire your Slash Harkens at three o'clock."

She blocked out any voices coming from the radio from her mind. It was like those stupid aol bots that was popular when she was a kid. It would talk to you when you would play games with it but that was all. That's all.

It's strange how much a person can change when they play a role; to be away from a situation. If Lelouch had only paused for a moment she might have noticed that she had taken the first step on a path she never would have wanted to go down. She could have seen that her humanity was going to slowly deteriorate by shutting herself off. Yet, it's funny how even the most resourceful couldn't see what was inside herself.

* * *

Suzaku hissed, as he zipped up the tight fitting uniform. It didn't matter that the painkillers were starting to wear off and his side hurt like hell. He had been given a chance that normally wouldn't have been thought possible. He was an eleven piloting the Lancelot, the most advanced mecha that Britannia had to offer.

"Read the manual?" Cecile said in a warm voice through his communicator. She was concerned for his wellbeing, for his ability to pilot with his current medical condition.

"Most of it."

"Very Good. Though it's only been in simulations, you're at the top of your class."

"Umm… about that…" Suzaku started to asked, referring to their earlier conversation about pilot compatibility. He had told her that he wanted to pilot Lancelot to turn things around; to prevent anymore unneeded deaths. Perhaps he had been overconfident but he felt that the reason he was fighting would be enough to grant him the strength.

"Well, the possibility is there, but the likelihood is close to zero. Don't try anything stupid. The escape mechanism on the C system has been disabled."

"Yes, I understand that, Cecile." Suzaku said flatly. He understood what he was risking but it didn't matter. Ever since that day he had put himself in the line of fire without a second thought.

"So this is it…" The unit was beautiful; that is, if a war machine could even be described in such a way. Unlike the previous generations of Knightmares it screamed eloquence. It looked didn't look like a boxy machine, but rather had an anthropomorphic effect.

"Yes. Our newest secret weapon; produced by our most advanced manufacturing techniques. Lancelot. The only seventh generation Knightmare Frame in existence."

Suzaku took a deep breath and readied himself for the activation sequence. A cool determination set over him as he felt the machine come alive. He was going to save Lelouch.

"Lancelot, ME boost!"

From the moment that Suzaku took off his adrenaline took over. It felt like the machine was an extension of him. Even at full speed he felt at ease, like whatever his mind commanded the Lacelot would follow. He wasn't piloting a machine through an arrangement of buttons and levers that needed any forethought. His intuition knew how to cause it to move with the same agility his body possessed.

He knocked out 4 units in a flash. They were no match for him, it only took a single blow for the terrorists to be forced to eject. His trajectory hadn't been altered in the slightest. It wasn't until he came across large unit that he even had to stop.

Their firearms had no effect on the energy shield that the Lancelot had equipped. Just like blocking a blow in a video game, all Suzaku had to do was lower the arm in a blocking motion and it automatically engaged. Except, this wasn't a game; he couldn't overlook the lives that were at stake.

"Alright, I can do this with Lancelots help!" He yelled as he moved onto the next group. With Lancelot he could end the needless deaths that the resistance caused. One by one the Sutherlands that the terrorist stole were releasing ejection shells.

He grabbed onto his side as he felt like his insides were being ripped apart. The pocket watch had stopped the bullet from killing him; however, that did not mean that there wasn't a probability of internal injuries. There was going to be an impressive bruise in addition to a 'scratch' from the side of watch cutting into his flesh from the force it was pushed into it.

None of that mattered though. No, what mattered was that if he could stop all the knightmares, the fight would be over. He had to save Lelouch at all costs. He couldn't loose her; after all those years apart, there was a chance that they could be together again.

His heat sensors sensed another knightmare hiding in a half destroyed apartment building. The only reason for a pilot to be hiding in such a location was if that person was the leader. He momentarily forgot the pain and took hold of the controllers with both hands. A fierce look washed over his face as he felt anger breaking through his calm. This person was the one causing so many unwarranted mortalities.

He jumped high in the air to deliver a swift spinning kick. If he could destroy this unit then he could save Lelouch, the fighting would be called off and the resistance would stop. Just as he was about to deliver the finishing blow an old Gaslow unit came out of nowhere to protect the first unit.

Suzaku searched frantically for the lead unit that had escaped while he was distracted. The Lancelot preformed unthinkable responsiveness against the falling debris that fell around Suzaku. Within that debris he noticed a woman falling from the building. She clutched a baby in her arms and Suzaku felt his heart lurch. This person didn't even care about the causalities!

The woman screamed and ran the moment Suzaku lowered her unto the ground. His eyes widened when he saw the terror in her face enough though she had just been saved.

"Suzaku, you must be tired. Do you want to stop?" Cecile's kind words broke him from his distress.

"No, I will continue. Please allow me to. "

He was so close to ending this. The numbers of enemy Sutherlands were dwindling. This was the only way.

"All Units! Pull back immediately! I order you in the name of Clovis de Britannia, Steward of Area 11!" Suzaku stilled his advance when he heard the voice over the loud speaker.

"Pull back?" The shock was evident in his voice. He never would have expected such a thing from Clovis.

"All units pull back at once! Stop the destruction of our nation's resource, and tend to the wounded, be they Britannian or Eleven! I order you in the name of Clovis de Britannia! Pull back immediately! I will permit no further combat!"

* * *

*footnote: This is the part of the brain that feels empathy .A really interesting study came out in Science Daily last month... if anyone is interested :)

A/N: Yeah, I'm not as awesome at writing combat scenes as I hoped I would be. I suppose practice will make it better... Plus I hope I am safe to assume that most of you reading this have watched the anime :)

A few things: This fanfic is going to be fairy emotionally heavy. I'm a sucker for character development so rather than focus on the actions I'm going to write a lot about feelings and thoughts. This can seem a little redundant: Like how much I repeated myself a lot in this chapter when it came to Lelouch realizing (for lack of a better word) that war was a game. I wanted to fully show that she had to continually convince herself that these are not people in order to continue. I know this is quite different from the cannon but one thing that annoyed me was that Lelouch seemed like a super kind person who stood up for others, yet he had no qualms about killing the second he received the Geass. Maybe I'm just an overly empathetic person myself, and I admit that the OOCness is more due to my lack of an ability to write a character that is unwavering from the beginning. I would rather show the slow degradation of human morality.

At the moment I am considering writing this primarily through Lelouch and Suzaku POV. Let me know if you want to see more.

**Aguestmaybe**: I plan on explaining why Lelouch began dressing like a man in my version of episode six. Her struggling with who she is: Girl Lelouch, boy Lelouch, or Zero, is going to be a major theme of this fic. I am more than happy to give you spoilers if you want to give me your contact info. Other than that I guess my short answer is that they are/were a bit paranoid of being found.

Thanks to Sarpndo and Copper Sulphate for your praise. If it wasn't for grammar and spelling check this story would be a lot harder to read :)

Much love to my subscribers. I'm surprised at how many hits this story has gotten. Read and review! I'm hoping to have the next installment up within the next couple days.


	4. Chapter 4: Episode Three Rewrite

**Episode Rewrite: Accepting Change**

Her calculations were off. No, it wasn't that. If it actually were a game with an unbreakable set of rules she would have destroyed Clovis. _The trick of real combat is that everyone is human._Even if she lowered those fighting to nothing but tools in her mind; Lelouch couldn't deny the existence of free will.

Forcing down a twinge of guilt Lelouch came up with a new plan to halt the destruction of the ghetto. With this strange 'gift of the kings' she could deny a person's free will. If she could just get close enough to him then she could force him to stop this.

"You. Let me wear your military uniform." She commanded to the first soldier she ran across. A blush fell across her face as she watched the man strip down to his underwear in front of her. "Here," she said and began to take off her jacket in the form of a switch before remembering that the moment the man's mind returned he would wonder why he was wearing an Ashford Academy uniform. "Er. Sorry." It was meant to come out genuine and not in a fit of giggles. She had to be losing her mind to find humor in the poor guy waking up half naked in the midst of all this.

Either the Britannia army was ironically ignorant to the most stereotypical infiltration tactic, or she did a damn good job of blending in. It wasn't until she was approaching Prince Clovis' command HQ that she was even questioned. "I'd like you to let me pass." Those simple words were all it took it gain entrance.

"Pull back all your units." She said from the shadows. Her heart was beating so loud in her ears that she wasn't even sure what her older half-brother's response was. It had been the first time that she saw anyone from the royal family in almost a decade. She was afraid to face him, and yet, she was so **angry.**

Not just for the how Clovis treated the Japanese; no, it was more than that as emotions and memories that she had worked so hard to burry came rushing in. She worked so hard to accept her life with Nunnaly at Ashford: to let go of this pain and anger at her family for casting them aside. _Might as well kill two birds with one stone. I will finally have answers. Maybe then I can let go._

"I said: 'Pull back all your units.' Tell them to assist all those who are injured, regardless of race." Lelouch said again, only this time more forceful. She pointed the pistol at Clovis and walked out from the shadows.

To his credit, the Viceroy continued to hold a bored expression even with a gun pointed at his head. Rather he repeated Lelouch's order verbatim without needing to be controlled.

"I'm surprised that a common foot soldier would have the audacity to point a gun at me. What would you have me do now, boy, sing and dance? Perhaps paint a picture of how you plan on leaving here?" Clovis asked with a sneer. No, he wasn't afraid of Lelouch. He thought himself invincible like the rest of the nobility.

"I would like you to answer some questions I have for you." Lelouch said as her eye changed to a bright red color with a small winged bird. As soon as she felt the connection with Clovis she let out the subjects that she held in her heart for so long.

"Who killed my mother?" When there wasn't a response Lelouch let out a ragged breath and continued more specifically. "Do you know who killed the 16th Princess Marianne? I know it wasn't a terrorist attack!"

"No." The response was monotone, as if she was speaking with a computer recording.

"What do you know then?"

"The second Prince Scheizer and the second Princess Cornelia. They know."

"They did it?" Lelouch said in shock. She remembered playing with of them as a child. Tears of betrayal poured out her eyes considering that her few happy childhood memories were lies. She was so caught up in her emotions that she didn't notice Clovis' eyes turn back to normal.

"You will give equal treatment of Japanese and Britannians from here on out. You will devote your life to changing Japan for the better."

Lelouch couldn't hide the shock on her face when Clovis laughed as a response. He should have called her highness, or agreed, or at least fucking nodded. It didn't work.

"I command you to use your power as Viceroy to make Japan peaceful." She left out the 'for Nunnaly' part, not wanting to utter her sister's name in such an environment.

"You can't command me to do anything. I am the third prince of the Britannian Imperial family. Unlike you, who are as good as dead, just like those dirty elevens." Clovis said and rose to from his chair.

"Why? Why isn't it working now? What's going on here?" Lelouch said in a panic, instinctually pulling the trigger when Clovis came too close for comfort.

* * *

Lelouch grumbled at her cellphone in her sleep. It had been ringing all morning but she was too hung over to care. She didn't care about anything anymore. There was no way she could face Nunnally after last night. No, not the empty wine, beer, and liquor bottles that were scattered around the mini fridge. She was referring to events the ghetto that she tried so hard to forget through said alcohol binge.

"I'm never drinking again." She rasped out and rolled over in a half sleep. Sadly, the motion was too much and she was met with a severe lurching of her stomach.

Lelouch had never moved so fast in her life, sober or drunk, and she was pretty sure she was still slightly drunk. An awful sound filled the bathroom as she bowed down to the porcelain god. There was nothing in her stomach besides copious amounts of overpriced booze and acid (no, not the LSD). Not the best combination first thing in the morning, or rather, late afternoon.

"I don't even want to think about how much I spent on that crap. Hotels are always outrageously overpriced." A crazed laugh escaped her lips at the thought. Of all the things that she could be thinking about she was worried about a 5 pound glass of wine?

Recovery from the room spinning happened quicker than expected. Though, in a masochistic way Lelouch missed the feeling as she pressed her forehead to the cold toilet seat. When the physical pain subsides one has time to focus on the emotional side of things. No amount of analytical thinking had kept her from guilt and sorrow of what happened. That's why she had turned to alcohol, hoping a blackout would cause her to believe that she had simply snuck out for a late night gambling session and bought a room at a hotel.

Regretfully, despite her small frame, lack of drinking experience, and empty stomach there was only enough stocked to make her sick. Her brain cells seemed intact enough. _Its not as if I don't have plenty to spare_. Somehow that thought made everything come crashing down.

Suzaku. _That idiot. That fucking idiot._She howled, holding onto the lid as if her life depended on it, as tears rained down her flushed cheeks. She had searched for his body after everything was over last night but couldn't find it. A clean up crew had already swept through the area by the time she-she shot Clovis.

Another round of retching was her body's response to that memory. However, this time around the burning in her heart was a lot more unbearable than her head or her throat. He had been prideful, self-centered, and self-indulgent as an adolescent. He cared more for his artwork, and parties than anything else and wouldn't mind hurting another to cover up a mistake.

Lelouch remembered when he had thrown a fit because she had beaten him in Stratego. He had broken her mother's vase and then blamed it on her out of spite. If the events of Shinjuku were any indication he had not changed, on the contrary, his childish actions had only grown worse. He had deserved to die.

An odd mixture of regret and anger filled her heart as she turned on the hot water of the shower. Clovis wasn't some innocent; he had single handedly ordered the **massacre **of thousands of people, defenseless civilians. The path to change could only be imprinted by the blood of tyrants. There was nothing else that could have been done.

When the first few layers of skin had been successfully rubbed off, Lelouch turned off the scalding hot water. The stench of death needed more than a few bars of complimentary soap to be washed clean. The rhythmic sound of the water dripping was interrupted by another set of phone calls.

_The student council is going to have a search party out on me if I don't get back soon._

"Ohnee-chan! Ohnee-chan, is that you?! Are you OK?!" Lelouch winced at the worried sound of her younger sister's voice over the phone. She had selfishly drowned her sorrows with barely a concern for Nunnaly's wellbeing. Only a drunken phone call at 3am stating that she was alive.

"Yes. Um. I'm fine. I'm so, so sorry, Nunnaly. I got caught up with some stuff last night and just got a hotel downtown. I didn't think I would sleep in so late without Sayoko to wake me up."

"Were you gambling?" Nunnaly's voice was quite. She rarely had anything to say about her older sister's habit. She knew that it was what was paying for their tuition lately, and the new scooter that Lelouch had bought her recently.

"Yes." Lelouch said after a long pause. It wasn't a lie, not really. "Hey, I'm on my way back now so don't worry." She looked down at the bloody uniform and army uniform that were scattered along the floor. "I just need to pick up some clothes on my way home. I keep neglecting to care for mine."

* * *

By The time Lelouch made it back to the student council building it was already time for dinner. She felt bad for abandoning Nunnaly for the whole day but it was better than returning home in the emotional state she was in earlier. Her little sister couldn't know what she had done; what she might still do.

If killing- If her actions last night proved anything it was that she hadn't forgiven. Running deeper than she wanted to acknowledge was a hatred for not only the ideals that Britannia stood for, but the autocrats as well. It wasn't just her _father_who shouldered the social Darwin ideals. The whole lot of them was willing to step on those weaker to raise themselves up.

"Sorry I'm late." Lelouch said as she entered into the main room of their living quarters. It felt like a lifetime had passed since the last time she genuinely smiled. Yet, seeing her younger sister there with Sayako, making origami again, the expression came so naturally.

"Welcome back, Ohnee-chan!" The excitement in Nunnaly's voice was evident; nothing in the world made her happier than being with her beloved older sibling.

"Welcome home, ma'am." Sayako said formally before getting up from the table.

"Do you want help?" Lelouch asked as she watched the woman take out some hamburger steak, her sister's favorite food.

"No. Spend some time with you sister." Sayako's words were spoken through kindness, yet that didn't change the fact that Lelouch had been away from Nunnaly for over a full day. Prior to that the longest they had ever been apart was several hours.

"Sayako was just teaching me origami. I never thought that you could fold one sheet of paper into so many things, like a bird or a boat. It can be anything!" Nunnaly exclaimed. She missed her sister so much that she felt the need to rush. Lelouch quit cutting the steak when she saw a line of soup drip down from her little sisters face.

"It's ok. You don't have to rush to tell me everything." She said in a teasing voice as she wiped away the mess with a napkin. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank goodness. You seemed sort of scary when you called me last night…"

"I'm sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind." Lelouch said, looking away from the other girl. For the only time in her life she was thankful for Nunnaly's lack of sight; that way she couldn't see the look of shame that was plastered on her face.

"Hey look. They say if you fold a thousand of these cranes, your wish will come true. If you have a wish, then..." Nunnaly began, sensing her older sister's worry. Her kind heart wanted to take whatever it was away, so that Lelouch could be happy with her forever.

"Oh! No, I don't. What about you, Nunnaly? Do you wish something?"

"Hmm..." A sad smile played on Lelouch's face as she watched her sister think long and hard about the question. "That the world might find peace!"

Lelouch flinched, thinking of her earlier attempt at the same wish: _"I command you to use your power as Viceroy to make Japan peaceful." _A peaceful world where Nunnaly could be free was all she wanted.

"By the time your eyes allow you to see it. I'm sure it will have."

"Really?"

"I promise." Lelouch said with a heartwarming smile. _That's right. I have been given the power to choose my future. Even shut up in this place, how long can the Ashford Family possibly shelter us? _Lelouch habitually tried not to think about life after high school. Sure, she had enough money saved up to buy them a nice house somewhere but was that really enough? _I have to create a world where we can live in peace, without hiding. _

"I learned this the other day. It's how the Japanese make promises." Nunnaly said, grabbing hold of of Lelouch's hand so that their pinky fingers were entwined. "Cross my heart, hope to die, swallow a thousand needles if I lie!" She moved her hand up and down in an excited manner; happy to share her new knowledge with Lelouch. "Pinky promise!" She giggled as she pulled her hand away.

"That's creepy. Do you really have to swallow needles?"

"Yeah! So you can't break it!"

"That's fine. I never lie," _To you._

* * *

"Oi. You've reached a new low, buddy!" Rival yelled as he ran down the hall to catch up with his best friend.

"You're quite lively considering you are normally half asleep until third period." Lelouch teased as they entered history class. She stopped dead in her tracks as familiar red hair came to her attention. Rival continued on speaking of the student council meeting that she 'dipped out on' yesterday. Apparently for the first time ever Milly's guts spell actually motivated them since Lelouch wasn't present to patronize the idea.

She was only half listening. The majority of Lelouch's cognitive abilities were directed at assessing the girl in front of her. _Kallen Stadfield_The name flashed in her mind as she suddenly recalled the girl's situation. She rarely came to school due to some sickness, yet her grades were top notch. The school let her absences go unnoticed because of her father's wealth.

_So that's why I recognized her. Lelouch recalled when she was trapped inside the semi truck: _

_"You can get into the subway if you head through the ghetto." A girl with short red hair said as she stripped out of a white lab coat. She made her way up to a hidden part of the truck, not noticing Lelouch's presence only a few feet away from her._

_"Kallen. Let's use it!" A voice yelled over the walkie-talkie. That women. _

At the time she didn't seem sickly in the slightest yet Lelouch was certain that the same girl from the other night was sitting right in front of her. Everything was coming together naturally. Lelouch would have to keep this in mind when she was ready to make a move.

"Oh? You like what you see?" Rival asked as he elbowed Lelouch mockingly. "Well, Milly admitted her into the student council yesterday while you were gone. She said it's your job to show her the ropes as punishment for missing out on budget management. By the way you are looking at her rack it doesn't seem like it would be much of a punishment for you though." He said with a laugh but later regretted the statement when he saw Shirley scowl as she walked past them. She had heard the entire conversation.

"I don't mind." Lelouch said in a pleasant voice. No, actually it was a perfect excuse to get Kallen alone to use her gift to get information from the other girl. She knew that it still worked from when she had the person at the dry cleaners sterilize her uniform quickly and without inquiry. It didn't work on Clovis the second time because she had exceeded her allotted uses per person. It almost seemed like a waste to use it on Kallen so quickly, yet it was only way to get information without her remembering what she said.

"Kallen. Would you mind taking a walk with me? I want to explain more about the student council during free period." The girl nodded and fell into step with Lelouch as they walked through the halls. "We might be the student council, but we don't do much work. It's just some occasional paperwork and planning various events."

"Events? Like the cultural festival?" Kallen asked in a soft voice as they made their way through the crowd of students.

"Well, like a fancy-dress ball, or a completely silent party, or going to class in swimsuits, and the like. Just the president's weird tastes." It wasn't until they reached the courtyard that they were alone. "Kallen, besides speaking of the student council, there some questions I would like you to answer."

"Yes." The redhead said in a serious tone once the geass was activated.

"You were piloting the Glasglow in Shinkjuku the other day, weren't you?" Lelouch asked after she confirmed that they were indeed alone.

"Yes."

"Why are you a terrorist?"

"Because I am Japanese. Even though I am half-Britannian by blood."

" A half-breed?" Lelouch was surprised at how much the Britiannian characteristics took over. She never would have suspected that based on Kallen's features.

"Then why go so far?" She asked, needing to know this girl's reason to fight.

"My brother. He died in the resistance. I want to create the world that he was fighting for."

Lelouch was silent for a few moments, digesting what this girl had said. The goal wasn't too far off from hers, yet the methods of how to create that world left much to be desired. Fighting Britannian civilians was not the answer.

"Um. What were we talking about again?" Kallen said in a sweet voice, returning to her earlier facade.

"I was warning you to be ready of the president. She'll come after you one of these days too. Let's make our way back to the clubhouse. I'm sure the others are already there."

"Big brother, it's terrible!" Nunnaly yelled the moment Lelouch and Kallen walked into the room. The whole student council was surrounding the tv as a breaking news update played.

"What is it?" Lelouch asked concerned. They must have finally released the information regarding Clovis' death. _I wonder how the media is going to skew this._She watched intently as the scene switched over to a press conference with the Margrave. Lelouch couldn't help but flinch as the events that she knew so well were described to the reporters. Thankfully, everyone in the room seemed displaced by the news so her reactions went unnoticed.

"The death of Prince Clovis is a great loss. His death was a noble sacrifice in the fight against the Elevens, for truth and justice! We must push through our sadness and continue his fight!"

The screen flashed over to an attractive reporter lady for a moment before showing an arrangement of soldiers." We have just received some new information. A suspect in this case has been arrested! According to our sources, the suspect is an honorary Britannian citizen."

Lelouch watched as a young man was dragged out of a police car. It wasn't until the camera zoomed in that she let out a startled gasp. It took all her will not to fall apart again, opting instead to merely clench her shaking fist harder, to the point of practically drawing blood.

It couldn't be. It couldn't be him. Yet, Lelouch knew despite his battered appearance the boy in question was no other than the walking dead. She had to do something; she had to save him. She looked at the distant expression that Kallen had on her face, so unlike her own. She had to come up with a plan.

"Private First Class Suzaku Kururugi." The reporters voice seemed grotesquely unemotional to given the situation.

* * *

A/N: Thank stupid pregnancy insomnia for this another chapter coming out less than 24 hour since my last update. Bleh. I was going to post this at 5am, but figured I should at least take a nap so that I could function enough to give it a decent proof read :)

If you haven't noticed I kind of changed Lelouch's obsession with chess to strategy games in general. The reason for this? Honestly, I don't know how to play chess so I felt the need to at least put in some games that I DO know how to play... Heh.

Also, I'm pretty satisfied with this chapter but I feel that it needs some explaining as to why I changed things around. I couldn't find it believable with the alterations I made to Lelouch's personality that she could immediately go back to normal after Shinjuku, yet I didn't want to change the major plot points of the cannon. The best compromise, that I could see, is to get her shit faced drunk and have a whole chapter devoted to her coming to terms with the new direction of her life. It reminded me of how accidentally destroying Euphy made Lelouch go off the deep end. I think killing Clovis would have a similar effect. This the beginning of the shut down, detached main character that we all fell in love with. Huzzah! Less girly emotional wreck scenes to write!

As far as why Nunnaly uses Japanese to address her sister. Meh. Honestly, it's a force of habit to throw the few phrases I know into fanfiction. I justify this with the excuse that they became accustomed to speaking Japanese before Britannia took over and still kept some quirks. :nods: that TOTALLY makes sense. If you don't like it I'll change it. I'm a sucker for code languages though. I find it completely adorable.

Last thing, promise! Since I made this whole chapter Lelouch's POV I'm considering doing the next chapter completely Suzaku or Suzaku with a tad bit of Kallen thrown in to explain how Zero initiates contact in my version. If anyone knows anything about military interrogation, court-martial and the like let me know. Review to let me know what you think. Love you guys! Thanks for the support 3


	5. Chapter 5: Episode Four

**Episode Four: She Personifies a Symbol**

Suzaku was grateful that, at least, he wasn't naked. A cruel smile crossed his lips as he thought of the common humiliation tactic that was used during interrogations. Those purists probably thought that the son of the former prime minister felt no shame, considering that he pledged his loyalty to Britannia. No, that didn't make sense. He was suspected of infiltrating the military for the sole purpose of killing Prince Clovis. That would mean that he was loyal to the terrorists and not Britannia.

It didn't matter; none of it mattered. The only thing that did matter was how much he wanted to **sleep**. This beautiful, wonderful luxury evaded him since the night before the events of Shinjuku Ghetto. He had gone to bed early that night, at a modest time of 2120 hours. It was crazy how he could barely remember his name but the last time he rested was crystal clear in his mind.

He sighed and decided to pace around the small confinement cell again. Moving around kept him from dozing off. He couldn't sleep, not when the moment his eyes closed he would be dragged back into that room again. It was small, with nothing in it besides a desk, two chairs, and an overhead lamp. There was always someone waiting for him in there too. Or that was the way it seemed.

Somehow he found himself leaning up against a wall, which was odd because Suzaku couldn't remember how he got there. A wave of panic swept over him for a moment before the desire to give in overpowered it. If he could just get five minutes of sleep he wouldn't go insane. Five minutes in over four days didn't seem like too much to ask.

"Private Kururugi." The voice sounded warped, like he was listening to someone underwater. Yet for some reason his brain still registered the meaning.

Before a response could be mutter, Suzaku was being led out of his cell. One right turn and one left, then the second door on the left: That was the path that he had walked down an unknown amount of times. It didn't matter, at first it did, but after the initial day counting seemed pointless.

"Hello. Private Kururugi, I trust you slept well." Jeremiah said with a sneer.

As much as he found elevens inferior, he had to commend Suzaku on his reliance. Normally a person under sleep depravation would show some sign of temporary insanity by now, especially when paired with a lack of stimuli. Nonetheless, each time he saw the boy he was alert enough to answer questions without falter. It didn't matter how frustrating the repetition was, or the amount of verbal traps that were laid; Kururugi would answer the same every time.

"Do you recognize this gun, Suzaku Kururugi?"

Suzaku didn't answer. The same question had been asked of him more times than he could count, and if Lloyd's words were true his response didn't matter. According to the engineer his fate had already been decided.

"You are here on suspicion of the murder of Prince Clovis, as well as several others. I looked into it a bit. You are the son of the last Japanese prime minister, are you not? You certainly have plenty of motive."

"I'm told you before: This is some kind of mistake. I have never seen this gun." When Suzaku finally spoke the exhaustion was evident in his voice. The first time this accusation was made he responded prideful: He looked the Margrave in the eye with a tone that could not deny his innocence. Now he sounded more uninterested than anything else.

Obviously irritated by Suzaku's consistency, one of other soldiers kicked the chair out from under the detainee. A sneer escaped the man's lips as he began to land swift kicks at the captive; who, because of the restraints around his body could only respond with grunts and twitches. Suzaku welcomed the darkness after an attack landed on his head, knocking him out, but not before he heard Jeremiah's final warning.

"Your fingerprints are on it. You are also suspected in the murder of the original owner. Just admit it, if you do, you'll be judged-not as an Eleven but as an honorable member or the Britannian army."

* * *

Kallen awkwardly walked through the museum, barely bothering to act as if she had any interest in the lies. The "history" that was portrayed here was nothing but imperialist propaganda. Nowhere was there any mention of the Japanese that valiantly fought for their freedom. Or how their rights had been stripped of them, unless, of course, they wished to abandon their heritage and assimilate completely to Britannian society.

"The overwhelming victory won by the Britannian forces in Japan, and the former government's unconditional surrender, allowed them to define a completely new political order. Today, the Empire and the Elevens have joined together, working hand in hand towards restoration."

The recorded voice, no matter how sweet, had a sinister tone to it. At least, in Kallen's mind that is how it sounded. It was as if the Tokyo tower was converted as a challenge to the resistance. Challenging the Japanese to rebuttal their assertion.

"Tokyo Tower in 4 o'clock." Kallen mumbled to herself as she fought the urge to look over at Ogi and the rest of the group. "Why would he want to meet me here?"

The short message that was left for her gave no clue as to who was contacting her or that person's inclinations. If only their group had more resource, maybe she could have figured out something, anything. The only lead she had was that this person was either Carl Kassel (which would be awesome) or had the means available to make a copy of the famous radio announcer's voice.

"Kallen Stadtfeld of Ashford Academy, your personal effects have been delivered. Please come to the service counter on the observation deck."

Ogi visibly tensed from the announcement. Kallen knew that he was apprehensive towards coming, believing that it could be entrapment. It didn't matter; however, if it was Suzaku Kururugi who contacted them then the government wouldn't hesitate to arrest, whether they showed up or not.

"Is this indeed yours?" The attendant said the moment she recognized the school uniform. She handed Kallen a black cellphone. After noticing the girl's blank expression she asked a conformation. "Um, it is yours, isn't it?"

"Um, yes. Thank you very much." Kallen said rather clumsily. Her mind was too distracted as to why she received a new cellphone. It would make it easier for the Kassel impersonator to contact her, obviously. After a few moments she neglected the idea that there would be any way to follow a trail back to the original source.

She glanced at her group before following them to the overlook. It was uncommon to see Japanese in the Tokyo tower. The attraction was meant more for tourists and school field trips than people who had any common sense.

"Zero?" Kallen voiced out loud, reading the caller ID on the phone. "Yes, it's me."

"Get on the monorail loop line. Bring your friend with you." These were the only instructions zero gave her before a disconnection beep rang in Kallen's ear. She took a deep breath and loaded the train, eager to see what would happen next.

If she wasn't so nervous she might have noticed that something was off. None of the other passengers were talking to each other and it was unlikely that they just happened to board a train with the most polite people ever. Rather, Kallen simply stared at the phone in her hand, oblivious to the world around her.

"Look to the right, as you face the front of the car. What do you see?"

"The Britannian City. A city of robber-barons, built on our sacrifices." She responded without hesitation.

"And on your left?"

"Our city. The ruined city that Britannians destroyed."

"A good answer. Now come to the lead car." Kallen inwardly cursed at the short interaction as she walked decisively towards the lead car. She wanted more than simply answering a few questions.

Perhaps she wished for too much, or that her wish wasn't specific enough. A startled gasp left her throat as she stared at the figure at the other side of the train car. The figure was dressed in a flamboyant black suit trimmed with purple. Or, at least, that was what she suspected was behind the long faux super hero cape. Was this guy for real?

"Is it you?" Kallen said nervously. She had always heard that geniuses were a little weird.

"Is this a trap?" She heard Ogi mumble, probably coming to the same conclusion as her. It was either a trap or this person was bat shit crazy.

"What was that in Shinjuku? Were you responsible for the order to withdrawal?" It didn't matter if Zero was a lunatic, as long as he was real and able to help them. It was the least she could do after he saved all their lives. Suddenly the lights began to flash, and a voice that sounded more ominous than it should have responded through a plain mask. What was she expecting Guy Fawkes?

"Well, how does it feel to meet the one running this operation? I wanted to introduce myself properly, denizens of the ghetto!" Kallen could have sworn she heard the figure giggle at the irony of that statement. The person was able to carry out their introduction seamlessly, regardless.

"We have a quarrel with Britannia." Ogi said, stepping in front. "A great quarrel indeed. So we resist them!"

"No. Britannia will not fall due to terrorist acts. Terrorism is nothing more than childish harassment. Don't mistake your enemy. You are not fighting Britannians but Britannia itself. If you do this it means war. Do not involve your civilians. Make firm your resolve. Fight only for justice!"

"Don't fuck with us…" Kallen responded angrily the moment the monolog was finished. "Why should we trust you? How can we trust a man who won't even show us his face?!" A murmur of agrees followed her statement.

A pregnant pause followed before the figured answered. "Very well. I will show you. Not my face, but my power. If I show you what I can do, surely you will come to trust me. If I save Suzaku Kururugi."

* * *

Suzaku didn't bother to fight when the unnamed solider put what felt like a shock collar around his throat. Despite the full night sleep that he was allowed the night before, he still felt so tired. Perhaps it was a preparation for the eternal sleep that would await him. The desire the Britannian government had to silent him did nothing else but confirm the accusations that Lloyd told him.

"_The court is where the truth is supposed to be brought to light!" He had said so valiantly the first day that he was detained. He had so much faith in his ideals that he couldn't acknowledge a situation otherwise. That would be that all that he had been fighting for was a lie, a fake promise of peace and justice._

"_I think it's more often that it obscures it in darkness; that truth you speak of." Lloyds voice was, as always, purely scientific at best. In some strange way Suzaku found his lack of human reaction comforting. _

"_If that is how the world works, I do not regret leaving it!" _

The young man found it rather odd that his sentiment did not change. Granted, he wasn't knocking on death's door quite yet; however, he would have expected to feel some attachment to the world. No, he only felt attached to her, and after finding out that she was safe Suzaku felt that he could die in peace. It's what he wanted for the past seven years, truthfully.

The ride through the streets of Britannia was diplomatic. The prisoner was thankful for that. If the mobs of irate citizens were able to do their bidding Suzaku was sure he couldn't keep his resolve. A sad expression escaped him despite that, as he looked up at one of the two guns that were pointed it at him. Hopefully Lulu believed in him enough to not watch the broadcast. He didn't want her to see him this way.

He was brought out of his depressive brooding when the vehicle stopped randomly in the middle of the street. He overheard something about another car approaching. Was he transferring vehicles for some reason? He had betrayed Japan years ago, and was accused of also betraying Britannia. It was doubtful that anyone would be foolish enough to rescue him with that resume.

The complete disrespect of the dead royal proved him wrong. To anyone with a trained eye the escort vehicle that stopped before the military escort was a fake. That didn't change the anger that resonated through Jeremiah's voice as he commanded the (probably) terrorists.

"Come out, you who dare sully His Highness' carriage!"

A well-placed flame destroyed the banner that hung above the front seat. Suzaku had to fight to suppress the laugh that dared to show itself. Whoever was dumb enough to try to save him had a love for theatrics and an odd sense of fashion.

"I am Zero!" A voice that reminded him an NPR morning host said behind a black, gold, and purple mask.

"That's all well then, Zero! This is the end of your little show." The margrave yelled before shooting a gun in the air. Suzaku watched, helplessly, as Sutherlands surrounded the car in front of him. To his credit, the masked man did not even flinch at the sudden gust of wind, or the fact that he now had half a dozen giant guns pointed at him.

"Now then, I'd like you to take off that mask!" Jeremiah said in a haughty tone.

The man moved ask if he was going to do as he was told before lifting his arm and snapping his fingers. Instantly the walls around him crumbled away to reveal what was once thought of as poisonous gas. Suzaku's eyes widened in a panic when he saw the machine; was it possible that the terrorists knew what it was?

"No, that's—" Suzaku began to yell when he saw the panic of the Britannian soldiers. The electric shock that followed was more humiliating than painful. His mind struggled to find a way to help the situation. Even though the capsule had nothing to do with poison gas, it made no difference if he was the only one who knew that.

"Go ahead and fire, you can't miss." The faux super hero said with a sneer.

"Alright. What do you want?"

"A trade. This for Suzaku Kururgi."

"No! This man killed Prince Clovis! I cannot hand him over!" Jeremiah replied fervently. Regardless of his innocence, the man in question couldn't hide the shame from his face at the accusation heard throughout the world.

"No, you're wrong, Jeremiah. He didn't do it. The one who really killed Clovis….. Was I!" Suzaku's eyes widened at the confession. "In return for a single Eleven, you can save the lives of hundreds of Britannians. It's not a bad deal, I think."

The bickering continued but Suzaku was too preoccupied with the thoughts that ran through his mind to pay too close attention. He hated to think so selfishly but the only thing that ran though his mind was his own wellbeing. It was conceivable that because of Zero's confession he would be set free. Perhaps, also, Llyod and Cecicle would be able to testify in regards to his whereabouts. If that were possible, then it was hard pressed to believe that he couldn't walk out of that trial a free man.

Someone releasing him of his restraints brought Suzaku back to reality. Right, the terrorists wanted to trade him for the poison gas. He wouldn't be able to go to trial; forced to be a wanted man. An uncharacteristic glare was shot at the man untying him before he was shoved towards the terrorists. Of course they wouldn't remove the shock collar from his neck.

"Who are you?" Suzaku asked, not caring that the question would bring him pain. He needed to know who would be so brash.

"As I thought, you cannot speak." The voice sounded oddly sympathetic coming from someone who was holding thousands of people hostage.

"Zero, it's time." A woman dressed as a chauffer said. Zero nodded and pressed a trigger, releasing pink smoke from the vessel. Before Suzaku had a chance to process the situation he was being held in a creepy embrace and falling from a bridge. He blinked a few times, finding it oddly comfortable.

A slight chill permeated his being at the loss of contact once the person pulled away. They had landed in the back of a truck that was now speeding down a highway. He stared at the accomplice as Zero fumbled with the shock collar. It took the entire length of the ride to the abandoned warehouse for him (or her) to release the contraption without causing a single shock.

"I'd like to speak to Kururugi alone." Zero said, effectively shooing his comrades. The two hesitated for a moment before making their leave.

A thick silence encircled the area the moment the two were left alone. Suzaku could have bet money that he saw Zero squirm self-consciously at his blank stare. After a few unelaborated moments the man sighed and sulked towards the mysterious figure, determined to get answers.

"Suzaku…" The meek voice that left the shell of a mask was quite different than the one that negotiated with the interim Viceroy. The pitch notwithstanding, an undertone of longing could still be felt. The difference in the body language and voice made it evident that voice was some sort of program. It made sense; actually, no one skilled enough to kidnap a felon would allow his or her true vocals to be heard. It was far too dangerous.

"Suzaku," Zero said again, only this time in a normal volume. "It looks like they have been treating you poorly." A gloved hand reached towards him, as if to caress the wounds on his face, before falling to the side. "You know how they do things now, don't you Private Kururugi?"

The character turned to climb on top of some rubble, effectively distancing the two beings. With each step the voice became firmer and firmer, finding confidence in the detachment.

"Britannia is rotten to the core. If you wish the change the world, join me!"

"You… Did you really kill Prince Clovis?" the venomous way that way that Suzaku said such words caused Zero to visibly flinch. He didn't care to hide the judgment in his eyes as he stared up at the self-proclaimed assassin before him.

"This is war. Do I need a reason to kill my enemy?"

"What about the poison gas? You took all those civilians hostage!"

"Bluffing is an important negotiating tactic. In the end, nobody died."

"In the end?" Suzaku said sympathetically. He looked away, not wanting to remember that part of himself. A part that would have agreed with Zero, but he worked so hard to destroy that thought process. "I see, so that's how you think… I would have matched you once."

"Then come with me. Britannia is unworthy of your service!"

"That may be, but… That's why I want to change it; to make it worthy. From within Britannia. Otherwise it's just perpetuating a mentality of separatism. Also, I do not believe there is any worth in a victory won by dishonest means." Suzaku sighed and turned to leave; no longer interested in the conversation. It brought up too much of his own shortcomings and how has spend almost half of his life trying to overcome them.

"Wait. Where are you going?" He didn't bother to face the frantic voice.

"My court-martial will begin in just under an hour." The voice felt flat, and devoid of all emotions, even to the owner's ears.

"Idiot! That very court-martial will declare you a criminal! The judge, jury, and lawyers all!"

"Even so, it's the rules. If I don't go, there will be much suffering among the Elevens and Britannians."

"But you will die!" Suzaku stopped for a moment when he heard the voice crack.

"I don't mind."

"Are you an idiot?!" There it was again. That sound crack, as if the hysterical tone of Zero's natural voice was overpowering the smooth melodic tone of the platform.

"Someone very dear to me used to call me an idiot. If I disregard my ideals and change my path now… I fear I would never be worthy of her."

"Worthy?"

The voice came out as a whisper, yet Suzaku could still hear it even though he was halfway across the building by the time it was said. His ears had become hyper sensitive the moment he heard the click of the mask being taken off. He couldn't bring himself to turn around; however, too fearful of what it might reveal. No, he didn't want to know the person who would lead the rebellion. That would make things too complicated.

* * *

A/N: I think I've been reading too much parody fiction because I found it really hard to keep this chapter a serious as I did. Otherwise I would have had a lot more fun with jokes that probably only nerds would understand. "Oh Zero, will you be on my answering machine now that I answered two out of three questions?" - Only someone who listens to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" would get that. Sigh, I feel old.

I also struggled keeping the interaction with Lelouch and Suzaku believable. Again, I've probably been reading too much smut because all I was thinking were super hot scenarios :dreamy face: Yes, I made Suzaku kind of confess to Lelouch. I don't think it will hurt the story too much considering that it can't ever really be mentioned again unless he wants to acknowledge his suspicions. Or if Lelouch wanted to reveal herself as Zero, which yes, I know. She tried to here. My reasoning? Last ditch effort to get him on her side, I guess. If Suzaku was fighting for her sake, wouldn't it make sense that he would abandon Britannia after finding out who Zero's true identity is?

Thank you soooooo much to all my reviewers and subscribers. It really makes motivates me to continue this story :)

Oh. One more thing I'm thinking about skipping or shortening episodes that I really don't care about. After careful consideration I am admitting that I can not write action scenes well, and really don't care to. Because of this, going forward, it won't be as cannon or detailed as my last few chapters were. If this is something you don't like then let me know and I will try my best to throw action in. Otherwise, look forward to more romance and introspection!


	6. Chapter 6: Episode Five

**Episode Five: The Rejected Princess and The Squatter of a Witch. **

Lelouch let out a sigh of relief as she made her way into the apartment. She was eager to see her dearest sister, and eager, also, for some sense of normalcy. She had disappeared shortly after Suzaku, not bothering to give an order for the group to abandon that location. It was doubtful that they would stay there on their own considering it wasn't an official location to begin with. That Ogi person seemed cautious if nothing else.

Regardless, all she desired was Nunnaly's sweet smile. Without it Lelouch feared she would go crazy. That is, if she wasn't already considering that everything she worked so hard for was turned upside down.

"I'm home." She said in a dejected tone, despite her efforts otherwise.

"Welcome home, Lelouch." The dark haired girl couldn't hide the shock on her face. Was she transferred to some sort of fucking parallel universe where no one died? Perhaps it would be prudent to start preparing for a zombie apocalypse since this is probably how everything starts.

"Welcome home, Ohnee-sama." The sweet voice brought the sleep-deprived teen out of her delusions. No matter that the witch was in her home now, Lelouch **would** get a good night sleep even if it killed her. She couldn't afford to be dazed out when she was playing with such a high stakes after all.

"From the look of you, you've already had dinner, then?" The green haired girl said nonchalantly as she continued to fold her paper crane.

"I was so worried. I thought you might have been caught up in that whole Zero business. I tried calling you, but it wouldn't connect." The small girl paused for a moment before continuing. "Nee-sama, C.C. took the trouble to come all the way here."

"C.C…." Lelouch said softly, contemplating the name.

"You have an awfully interesting friend. To think she goes by initials alone… She says that you two are promised to each other. Does that mean that you are taking 'being a boy' that far? 'To each their own as they say.' I suppose that's just how you operate."

The older sibling's face flushed a deep red at the assumption. She had never talked about _that_ with Nunnaly before, so it wasn't that far fetched for her sexual orientation to be in question. Her sister was fourteen already so it wasn't absurd to think that she didn't know of such things already. This conversation had become far too uncomfortable.

"What are you doing, C.C.?" Lelouch asked impersonating a concerned voice after she threw the teacup to the ground. "You're all wet. Come on, we'll have to go to the washroom. I'll get you a change of clothes." The shorter woman's smirk only made the situation more embarrassing. No doubt she found dirty humor in the abstract way the situation was described.

Lelouch grimaced and pulled the she-devil out of the room with her, eager to preserve her sister's innocence. "I'll clean that right up, Nunnaly, so don't move. Oh and that was a lie back there. A lie, a joke!" _Not that it would hurt to have a fake girlfriend. Then at least I would be left alone. _

"Who are you?" The words were angry and forceful, complimenting the shove that caused C.C. to stumble into the room.

"Didn't I tell you? I'm C.C." A disturbing smile played across the woman's face as she sprawled across the bed. "Or did you want to know more about me? Taking your manhood so far, that is."

"That's not what I meant. You-" Lelouch's tone became even more tense. She wasn't sure if the hot feeling on her face was due to extraordinary anger or embarrassment.

"Should be dead?" C.C. said sweetly, rolling over to meet the deadly glare. "Do you like the power I gave you?"

"So you _did _give it to me."

Lelouch couldn't tell if this confession was comforting or unnerving. Sure, she had accepted her geass and what she believed it meant for her. Still, that didn't make having another person know of her secret damn intimidating. What did this girl want? The terms of the contract were never cohesive.

"Unsatisfied?"

"No," Lelouch paused for a few moments. Honestly, she hadn't even really thought about her feelings on the subject. " I'm most grateful. You gave me something to do."

"Something to do?"

Lelouch had expected some sort of reaction from the girl; yet, her tone was a devoid of any.

"As I thought, you seem like an interesting…. Woman. So Lelouch, what is it that you plan to do?"

"Defeat the Britannian Empire. It's not the first time that I entertained such ideas."

No, the thought had come to her awareness many, many times. Normally not when she was of sound mind, however. It would follow fits of fear or anger. On days that she could barely breathe thinking of nothing but 'what ifs.' Or when Nunnaly would wake up in the middle of the night with a nightmare, recalling those gruesome memories of her childhood. It was then that her thoughts would stray from the serene environment that her and Nunnaly were in to something more disturbing and jaded.

"You think you can do it with nothing more than that power?"

"I believe I could with, or without it. The difference is that it gives no excuse not to move forward with my dark aspirations. Call me an idealist, but I feel nothing happens without a reason."

"Does that mean you believe me to be some sort of god?"

"No, but I do have to wonder how someone who gets shot in the forehead does not die."

Lelouch waited for an answer but C.C. just smiled and started taking off her boots and jacket. The strange woman seemed more interested in making herself at home than the conversation at hand. If it weren't for the well-timed inquiries, Lelouch would have assumed she was being completely ignored.

"You're not staying here."

"Sure I am. Only a small portion of the army is after me, so I should be fine with normal protective measures. If I'm caught, you'll get in trouble too, won't you?"

"We'll be in more danger if we stick together." Lelouch said, moving to sit on the bed next to C.C.

"Boys sleep on the floor."

"If I take off the ace bandages and put on pink pajamas do I get to sleep in my own bed?" Lelouch said in half playful, half irritated manner. She didn't wait for a response before she placed her brown coat on the desk chair and moved towards the closet.

"Do you own pink pajamas?"

"I think Milly gave me something last year for my birthday…." Lelouch said digging towards the bottom of the closet. Her eyes widened in horror when she finally found the offending piece of lingerie. "On second though, never mind. I'm sleeping in an oversized shirt and running shorts."

"Why do you pretend to be a boy anyways? It seems… uncomfortable." C.C. said watching the transformed figure approach her.

"It's-It's easier."

"That sounds like an answer from someone who is running away more than moving forward."

"How are you alive? You were shot. And what was with that whole contract deal I entered?" Lelouch responded instantly. She didn't feel that she needed to be the only one answering questions. Especially not when the discussion at hand turned peculiarly personal.

"Such persistence annoys me." C.C. said before turning around to face the wall.

"Hey, what-?"

"Goodnight, Lelouch."

The other girl sighed and turned off the light. _So much for getting a good night sleep. She better not be a bed hog._

* * *

"Private First Class Suzaku Kururugi, in accordance with the Uniform Code: article 11, subsection 107, you are hereby acquitted of the charges of Prince Clovis' murder due to lack of evidence." The judge looked down at Suzaku, daring him to say anything else.

The trial went rather smoothly, but that didn't change his shock at the verdict. Lloyd and Cecile were still barred from testifying; yet, that made no difference. The accusations against the Margrave outweighed the (half assed) investigation against the young private. Suzaku supposed that he had two things he had to thank Zero for: releasing him from his captivity illegally and legally. If it weren't for her public confession he would have been a dead man.

It wasn't until he changed out of his prisoner uniform to an outfit that Cecile so kindly packed for him that the whole thing felt real. He knew the reasons, logically, yet Suzaku couldn't wrap his mind around newfound freedom. He had always been slow with these sorts of things.

"Look out below!" A voice called from above. The young man dropped his bag and braced himself to catch a woman falling from the sky. Who in their right mind would jump out of a two-story window?

"Um, are you alright?" He said after staring at the pink haired, lavender-eyed women in his arms.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't think there was anyone down here!"

"No, I didn't think that a lady would be coming down from above, either." Suzaku said clumsily, not sure if he should be the first one to pull away. He was never quite good at handling these sorts of situations.

"Eh?" the girl said in response and Suzaku wondered if he had been looking at her for too long.

"I'm sorry. Your eyes… they just remind me of someone." An odd expression that Suzaku couldn't read crossed her face for a moment before it was replaced by an enthusiastic smile.

"To tell you the truth, I'm being chased by some very bad men. So will you help me?"

"Um. Of course." Suzaku said, finally getting up from the ground. He reached a hand out to the girl, thankful for the change of conversation. It wasn't like him to confess his unrequited love drama to a complete stranger.

They walked in silence for a long while before the girl turned to address him.

"I don't believe I ever introduced myself. I'm…. Euphie!"

"Euphie?" Suzaku answered, wondering why there was a pause. "I'm-"

"Oh, for goodness sake! You're famous, you know. The son of the late Prime Minister Kururugi, Private First Class Suzaku Kururugi."

"It was a lie that you're being chased, wasn't it?" Suzaku said, turning away. He felt strangely venerable being recognized so easily. Perhaps this is why Lulu was dressed like a boy when they had met. Granted, it was years ago, but right after the invasion there were posters and search parties out for the Vi Britannia everywhere.

"Meow!" Suzaku turned towards the direction of the sound to see Euphie conversing with a cat. "Meow, Meow. Are you hurt, meow?"

The cat hissed in response before finally warming up to the girl. She picked up the cat, lovingly, and turned to hold it out to Suzaku. He smiled in response and held out his hand to, hopefully, be rubbed affectionately like it had just done for Euphie. Instead the cat immediately chomped down on the thick flesh.

"Oh my…" The girl said valiantly holding back a fit of giggles. She motioned for Suzaku to follow her to a nearby fountain, where she ripped a piece of fabric off her dress to make a bandage for the animal.

"Do you dislike cats?"

"No, I love them…" Suzaku said, once again reaching out to pet the grey and black tomcat. "But I suppose my love is a bit one-sided."

"Is it one-sided with that certain someone as well?" Euphie said absently before turning away to tend to the cat. "Unconditional love is a sign of a gentle soul."

* * *

Lelouch sat in the courtyard playing on her laptop during the afternoon free period. No matter how many times she searched Suzaku's name information still hadn't been updated with the results of the trial. On the contrary, most of the information regarding Suzaku had to do with the valiant rescue by a masked man named Zero. Real news would never win against gossip.

"_The whole world is looking for you. The world is moving at your bidding. Lelouch, is this what you wanted?"_

C.C.'s earlier words rang in her mind. At the time she had given some appropriate response about causing more destruction to the world. Philosophically it was correct, that in order for creation to exist there must also be destruction. It was impossible to change the world without a single drop of bloodshed.

Just then a flash of bright green caught her attention and she let out a low growl before shutting her laptop. C.C. was dancing around the courtyard in the outfit Lelouch was wearing last night. "That bitch…" she mumbled before running towards her current bane. She dragged the enchantress off towards the rooftop, the most secluded area she could think of for a good scolding.

"Are you some kind of idiot? Don't go out like that!"

"I should be able to go around the school." C.C. responded cooly. "Don't be such a square."

"No way! You would be considered an intruder here!" Lelouch responded, feeling as if she were talking to an unruly child.

"The same would be true anywhere I went." The green haired girl's voice was uncaring as she looked over the balcony. "You should get some girl clothes also. Like I thought, this is uncomfortable. What she doing?" There was a girl marking the wall across the way.

"Oh, she's doing it again today?" Lelouch asked moving to see the spectacle herself.

"Again?" C.C. asked, now sounding mildly interested.

"I used the geass to command her to make a mark on that wall every day."

"The geass?"

"My power. Isn't that what you called it when I contracted with you?"

"Testing how long it lasts?" C.C. looked over at the other girl with a smile.

"One should understand the specification of one's weapon. Plus, it's nice to know that it doesn't seem to cause any real damage other than a momentary lack of free will."

"Would it change your resolve if it didn't?"

Lelouch didn't answer the question. She reasoned that it was one thing for the streets to run red with the blood of tyrants but hurting the innocent was a moral that she didn't want to sacrifice.

"Don't worry about me. We are accomplices here. I won't do anything that would negatively affect us." C.C. aforementioned, brining the conversation back to its original topic.

Lelouch glared at the girl before nodding. "Let's go back to the apartment." She said feeling slightly relieved despite her icy exterior.

'To use the geass, one has to look directly into the subject's eyes. The refraction resulting from glasses is no problem. Its effective range is 270 meters, and the subject retains a gap in their memory at both the time of influence an when the order is carried out. I believe this is due to the damage caused when the geass first enters the brain. Since the information is transferred through light, it is also possible to reflect it."

Lelouch looked up from her computer data at C.C., willing her to give some sort of reaction to the data that was just rattled off. For an accomplice she so far proved to be nothing but a nuisance. One would think with free reign of a credit card, room and board the woman would be grateful enough to give some sort of secret intelligence.

"You were able to discover quite a lot in such a short period of time." Lelouch let out a sigh. Of course there wouldn't be a useful response. She was starting to anticipate C.C.'s indifference.

"My enemy is an empire which encompasses more than a third of the world's population. I cannot be too careful."

"Elevens are one thing, but you're up against the Britannian empire. It's far too vast and strong to fight with nothing more than a single geass."

_Single? Never mind, it's not like she would answer such a question anyways. _

"The bigger they are then the harder they fall. I will show Britannia the error of their ideals. The hateful cycle repeats itself again and again. The same foolish repetition. Someone has to change that cycle and how poetic would it be if it was achieved by the weak rising up?"

"Are you calling yourself weak?"

"I'm not so arrogant to think otherwise. Yet, with the right resources and calculations I can overcome that weakness and create a world without war."

"That's a nice thought. Yet how would you create such a peaceful world?"

"Simple. If someone wins, the war ends."

"And who would that be?" A sad smile played across Lelouch's delicate face, remembering the sacrifice that she had made earlier after reviewing her shortcomings.

"Zero." She looked up to meet C.C.'s gaze. The green haired girl nodded in possible understanding. For the rest of the evening the two sat in a comfortable silence.

"Lelouch?" C.C. spoke after a few hours when she saw the taller girl start to yawn on a schedule.

"Hmmm?"

"Don't push me up against the wall tonight, otherwise I am pushing you off the bed."

"Hmmm."

* * *

A/n: I have a strange habit of writing a lot and then neglecting stories for a little while. Meh, this chapter was pretty short (compared to previous ones) anyways. I left a lot of stuff from the episode out because I just didn't care about it. Maybe I am just impatient to get to episode six.

I feel like my grammar and consistancy of style is getting worse, or maybe it's all in my mind. If anyone wants to beta for me that would be lovely.

Read and review. Seriously, I love hearing your opinions. I welcome flames and constructive critism too.


	7. Chapter 7: Episode Six Fluff

A/N: Ok, so I was obviously pretty excited to write this chapter considering I pumped out a lot of content just over a few days. I hope you like it! Warning: Cuteness ahead! No smut though. If I do end up writing a hot and heavy chapter I will probably post it in the form of a standalone OVA type thing. I really want to keep this story rated 'T.'

Aguestmaybe: I'm not sure if you still read this fic... but if you do I would be curious to hear your opinion as to my reasoning of why Lulu is cross-dressing. Does it live up to your expectations or have I horribly disappointed you?

Sarpndo: Thank you so much for your constant reviews of every chapter. I really appreciate it.

One more thing. Kamadeva is the Hindu goddess of love... incase anyone was curious.

* * *

Episode Six: **Thank Kamadeva for the Stolen Mask**

Lelouch yawned and readjusted herself for a better sleeping position. _Damn C.C. takes up the whole bed. _It didn't matter that it was 8:30 in the morning and first period hadn't even started yet. They didn't change classrooms till 11am so if she could fall asleep before the teacher came in that gave her around three and a half hours to make up for getting shoved off the bed last night.

"I'm transferring to Ashford Academy as of today. My name is Suzaku Kururugi. It's nice to meet all of you."

Lavender eyes snapped open the instant her brain recognized the voice. She unabashedly stared at the new transfer student with wide eyes. The whole class was acting the same; although Lelouch was certain that their thoughts were quite different than her own.

Suzaku kept his eyes locked at a random point on the opposite wall the entire time that he talked. He understood Euphie's reasoning for her desire to send him to school and in many ways he appreciated it. Yet, it was unexpected for her to send him to one of the most prestigious academies in the Tokyo settlement.

The moment he finished talking the class erupted in frantic whispering. Considering his recent fame it wasn't surprising that everyone in the class knew who he was. Or, if by chance someone didn't, the fact that he was a number would be enough to erupt panic. Suzaku squared his shoulders and made his way to his seat.

Despite his best efforts to remain monotonous, he couldn't help but notice that one person who was not engaged in gossip even though their face was the most shocked of all. A light pink decorated her face before Lelouch promptly turned to look out the window. Suzaku bit back a smile as be walked past the row that she was seated in.

The interaction reminded him of when the prime minister had bought Nunnaly embossed playing cards for her birthday. She had wanted to play poker, parroting her older sister's love of gambling. Lulu had instantly figured out how to count cards, yet she could never win a single game. It was only after several weeks that the expressive child was able to mask her emotions enough to play a game without a hood hiding her face.

"Ok students. Settle down so we can start class." The teacher blundered after clearing his throat a few times.

To her credit, Lelouch did not react for the entire class. Google had finally updated that morning so she had an hour to process that Suzaku was not executed. If it weren't that prior knowledge of his safety, she was certain that she wouldn't have been able to contain herself from tackling him the moment she noticed his presence.

Rival had probably assumed that she was sleeping when he silently rose from his seat next to her to join Shirley and Nina at the end of class. Lelouch didn't mind. She was too preoccupied with her own thoughts. She wanted to talk to Suzaku but knew that it would be too embarrassing of an interaction for anyone else to see, especially not after his recent not-love confession.

"_Someone very dear to me used to call me an idiot. If I disregard my ideals and change my path now… I fear I would never be worthy of her." _

She could feel her heart beating in her ears. At the time she had let her emotions get the most of her and attempted to reveal herself as Zero. Now, days later, she didn't have the luxury lest she reveal everything. _That bastard. I can't even ask him what the hell he meant. _

A lift of a collar, or whatever fabric was near the neck, and tilting one's head upward: That was Suzaku's and her childhood symbol. It seems humorously appropriate to use after seven years. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, waiting for a sign of recollection, before running up to the roof.

The three-minute it took for Suzaku to navigate felt like an eternity to Lelouch. It wasn't just her lack of physical fitness, but also her nervousness that caused her whole body to feel uncomfortably tight. Perhaps she shouldn't have requested to be alone with him. Her mind raced until the door creaked open and she acted purely on impulse.

She tackled him. Well, as much as a person could tackle a trained soldier. It wasn't as if the stupid jock was going to fall over from the small girl, even if she was only a few inches shorter than him.

"I'm so glad that you're alright." Suzaku said clumsily wrapping his arms around the person buried into his chest. He must have won the karma lottery to be alive and in the same class as Lulu. He placed his head on top of her head, savoring the warmth of being near her.

Lelouch shook her head. The roughness of the school jacket during the movement brought her back to reality and her eyes widened. With a beet red face she pushed herself away from Suzaku. The boy only flashed her a charming smile in response.

"It's all thanks to you. If you hadn't taken that bullet for me…" Lelouch mumbled, feeling extremely self-conscious. _Definitely too embarrassing. _

"It-it was nothing." Suzaku humbly chuckled and scratched the back of his head. "Oh, what about that girl? The one in the capsule."

"We got separated in the confusion. Don't you know anything about her?" If Suzaku weren't so oblivious he would have wondered if there were a hint of jealousy in the girl's voice.

"No. It looks like only a group of CA knew anything."

"I see." Lelouch said after a long pause.

"I bet you don't mind being named after your grandfather anymore. Though, I didn't expect you to pull of a boy so well."

Lelouch's face was so red it was practically purple when she noticed **where** Suzaku was referring. She quickly crossed her arms over her bandaged chest and spoke without thinking.

"I'll have you know I have very nice boobs."

By the time Suzaku finished laughing his whole body hurt. He felt bad for Lelouch, who sulked into a corner the moment after she slapped him. The look on her face after she boasted was priceless though. He would have endured much more to see it.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said, wiping away a few stray tears. It didn't matter that Lelouch really did pull off the façade of a boy well. Her shy pouting still looked absolutely adorable. "So, um. Why are you pretending to be a boy anyways?"

Lelouch didn't answer immediately and probably wouldn't have if Suzaku didn't nudge her. Never in her life had she felt so incredibly girly. It was completely mortifying and unacceptable.

"Do you remember that half-assed show of an investigation that Empire put on for Nunnaly and I? Well, that wasn't it. There was a small group who was searching for us outside of the official unit. That person was good and continued for years even after our death had been announced.

The Ashfords never figured out who was looking for us but chances are it was the same person who killed my mother. Why else would someone care so much to find two estranged royals? No. The reasoning had to be to tie up loose ends."

Suzaku gave Lelouch a sympathetic smile as she paused to gather her emotions. It was obvious that this wasn't a casual conversation for her. She was bearing her soul to him. He fought the urge to take the woman he loved into his arms, fearful of what her reaction would be.

"Well." Lelouch continued after a few raged breaths. "Because of my _distinguishing features, _the only way that I was allowed outside was if I was disguised. Ruben wanted to dye my hair but because it linked me to my mom, I refused. I didn't want to hide the fact that I looked just like her. We compromised on me pretending to be a boy and laying low. In hindsight, it wasn't the most brilliant of plans but I was appeased anyways."

"What about Nunnaly?"

"She didn't go to school until this academy was built. She really stands out… and no low profile school would have been able to accommodate her… needs."

"And now?" Suzaku knew that he was prying but couldn't help it.

"Nunnaly doesn't leave school grounds. I've been Lelouch Lamperouge for so long that I wouldn't know how to change now." Lelouch paused for a moment to think of the wall that was erected between her and her friends. The only person who knew her identity was Milly. "The short answer is that I'm a coward."

The air felt thick. Suzaku wished that he were more charming, that he knew the right words to say. He wanted nothing more than to protect her. That wasn't possible when he was seven but he had grown since then. He reached to comfort her but the gesture ended up being an inept ruffling of hair.

"You're not a coward, Lulu."

"Thanks… Hey, what are you doing here anyways?" Lelouch asked, as if it was the firs time she noticed the abnormality of his presence.

"There's someone who ensured that my investigation was conducted properly. She also said that a seventeen year should be in school."

Before Lelouch could muster up an appropriate response the bell rang stating that the next class was about to start. A pregnant silence followed, neither person wanting to be the first one to leave the comfort of the other's company.

"You should come over for dinner tonight. Nunnaly would love to see you."

* * *

"Well, this is uncharacteristic of you." C.C. said with a sneer as she watched the other girl make a mess out of her once organized closet.

"You've known me for less than a week. Who are you to say what's characteristic or not?" Lelouch said logically as she held up another offending piece of fabric. Everything she owned was either men's clothes bought specifically because the article hid her figure well, or super risqué gag gifts from Milly. _I wouldn't even know how to wear this._ She looked up at the slinky scrap of material that the purchaser described as a "clubbing dress." Lelouch doubted that she meant school clubs.

A hesitant knock was heard at the front door. Lelouch let out a sigh and gave herself an once-over in the mirror. She had stripped off most the layers of school uniform: leaving only a built in bra cami and her pants. Due to her discarding the sports bra and bandages, the shirt rode up more than normal, leaving about an inch or two if her hips and lower abdomen revealed.

Around ten minutes earlier Sayoko and Nunnaly left for their ritual evening stroll, giving Lelouch enough time to sneak Suzaku into the apartment for a nice surprise. She didn't expect the boy to be so punctual; although, that habit was probably learned from being in the military.

"Do not leave my room until I say it's alright."

"I'm not a dog." C.C. responded in a haughty tone.

"No. You're a freeloader."

Lelouch looked through the peephole of the front door before taking a deep breath. She hated herself for being so nervous. It had never been like this when they were kids, when they would spend hours together every day. _Distance makes the heart grow fonder._ The line from her favorite childhood movie, Robin Hood, flashed through her mind.

"I didn't expect to show up at 6pm on the dot." She said with a warm smile as she opened the door.

"Should I leave and come back?" Suzaku said shyly as he took off his shoes.

"No, no. It's fine. Nunnaly and Sayoko are out right now. I wanted to surprise her when she got back."

There was a long silence, as if the two just realized that they were alone together again, only this time in an apartment, rather than a school roof. Suzaku rolled on the balls of his feet and gulped. Perhaps it was the change of clothes, or a different semblance that made her look positively female and beautiful. The hot feeling of his face was a sure-fire sign that he was blushing like an inexperienced idiot.

"I agree." Suzaku said without thinking.

It didn't take a genius to realize that he was referring to her earlier indiscretion. Lelouch's eye went wide and she would have ran to her room to change if the idiot hadn't have grabbed hold of her wrist the moment she panicked.

"Don't. I...umm… It's nice to see you as you are… Rather than someone you are pretending to be." Suzaku's eyes were pleading. His reasons weren't due to just attraction (though, he couldn't deny it either); he didn't want any barriers between them.

_If only you knew, this would be the last of your worries._ Even in her mind Lelouch's tone was bitter. She looked as if she wanted to say something except the doors opened to reveal her dear sister before she had the chance. They were home early.

"I'm home, Ohnee-sama." Nunnaly said in a cheerful voice the moment her and Sayoko entered the room. She cherished the times when she could address her sister as such, being forced to say "big brother" or "Lulu" in public.

"Welcome home, Nunnaly, Sayoko. I have a present for you today." Lelouch said with a smile and placed her fingers up to her lips, signaling the older Japanese woman to not mention the strange boy in the room. Suzaku grinned and let go of the slender wrist he had been holding and stood completely still, waiting for his big reveal.

"Oh? What could it be?" Nunnaly asked, excited. Lelouch nodded and watched Suzaku walk with perfect stealth to her little sister. With a loving appearance, he reached out to cradle a frail hand in his own. "This hand..." Her other hand made a sandwich as the small girl cautiously read the aura to be sure. "I'm so glad you're alright!"

"It's so nice see you, Nunnaly." Suzaku said watching as relieved tears poured from the permanently closed eyes. They stayed that way for a long while until Lelouch shooed the couple to the table.

"Alright. Let's eat."

"I thought I smelled curry." Suzaku said with a masked expression. "Did you make it? Should I be worried?"

Lelouch grumbled a response as she went into the kitchen to serve the food. "I'm not a kid anymore, Suzu. You don't have to worry about being poisoned by whatever ingredients I find laying around anymore." _Plus, I know it's your favorite._ She left the last part out.

Nunnaly directed the conversation at dinner, filling in the less morose details of the sibling's lives since being separated from Suzaku. To his credit, the warm-hearted boy didn't inquire into many of the things that the small girl cited in passing. Instead, much of his questions had centered on origami, classes, and a few of the student council members that were mentioned.

Suzaku was grateful the girl's chatty nature considering he felt rather pained talking of the time after their parting. He spoke briefly of his time living with his relatives before joining the military a few months shy of turning 16 years old. His intentions weren't to hide anything; simply put, until recently his sentiments were unsettling and speaking of it would ruin the mood. After listening to Nunnaly voice her experiences so cheerfully; however, the sole male felt a bit selfish. The small girl had been through so much but didn't seem to look at the past with any regret.

"You can stay the night, can't you Suzaku?" Nunnaly asked after Lelouch announced that it had become rather late.

"Suzaku is a student here now, so you can see him whenever you like." Lelouch responded frantically. Her face flamed for the umpteenth time that day wondering where Nunnaly expected their friend to sleep. Regardless that a sponger occupied her room, they weren't kid anymore so sharing space would be _inappropriate_ at best.

"Really?" Nunnaly's glee shone through her serene features.

"I still have my work with the army, so maybe not every day."

"You're still in the army then?"

"It's fine. I was transferred to the engineering corps, so I'm not in much danger."

"Oh, the engineering corps." Lelouch said feeling a sense or relief that Zero wouldn't have to fight him. She stood to clear the table.

"I'll help you with that."

"Sit down. Unlike seven years ago, I'm the host here."

Suzaku nodded and sat back down. After his initial nervousness had worn off he felt completely sated. A wistful smile spread across his lips as he wondered if this is what it would feel like for them to be a family. Albeit, it was years down the road but the boy's heart soared at the daydream.

"I thought I told you to stay in my room." Lelouch said in a harsh whisper when she saw C.C. leaning against the kitchen sink. She wasn't surprised that the curious witch was eavesdropped on their conversation. Her concern was if she had taken Suzaku up on his offer to help it would have been bad.

"That's the Britannian soldier we met in Shinjuku, isn't it? Is he alright?" C.C. said lazily, unaffected by the scolding.

"He's alright." Lelouch said setting the plates down on the countertop. "He's… I'd trust him with my life."

The other woman rolled her eyes, no doubt understanding the meaning of the words. Without a single word she sulked back into the bedroom, no doubt to claim her territory on the bed.

Lelouch's relief was replaced with unnerve when she walked back into the dining room to find the space empty. It wasn't until she heard hushed tones coming from her little sister's bedroom that she felt her heartbeat return to normal. A sweet smile tugged at her lips at the sight of Suzaku helping Nunnaly into bed. A stupid maternal instinct kicked on at the scene but she couldn't help her reaction. It was dangerous to daydream of such things; still she was never the most proficient at reigning in her emotions.

"Come over anytime. Nunnaly will be happy to see you." Lelouch said a hushed tone as she walked Suzaku to the door. It was late enough that she could safely walk him out without fear of another student spotting her once the door was opened.

"Sure, but… Lelouch, let's pretend not to know each other at school."

"Why?"

"How would you explain being friends with a former Eleven? If weren't not careful, it might come to light that—"

"It's not uncommon for Britannians to have lived here since before the war. Also, I'm a dude remember? Sure, it's not fool proof but I doubt the fact that you and I are… " Lelouch paused for a moment not wanting to place herself in the friend zone. Could calling Suzaku her companion be misinterpreted as a form of rejection?

"I don't want to cause you any more trouble." Suzaku said relieving the over analytical girl of her inner turmoil.

"So you're just going to pretend, like you did before?" She couldn't hide the hurt and anger from her voice. Though, Lelouch did manage to keep herself from screaming this time.

"Before?"

"Umm…" _Shit, I really need to work on this big mouth. I'm worse than Shirley._

"Thanks for having me over. I had fun. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure." Lelouch said in an unattached tone as she watched Suzaku walk down the steps leading to the clubhouse.

"I'm so happy. I never thought that I would see you again."

At least the parting statement helped a little to clear her wounded heart.

* * *

The next day Lelouch acted as requested, as much at it bothered her to do so. She watched in barely contained anger as her fellow students gossiped about the 'scary eleven in the class.' At one point when she was speaking with Ogi she saw Suzaku attempt to wash graffiti out of his gym clothes.

Go back to the Ghetto. Those assholes couldn't have written anything worse on his shirt, considering that the most populated ghetto was fucking destroyed. She became so disgusted by the spectacles that Lelouch decided to go home and work on building a hiding place for her zero outfits. Especially it Suzaku was going to be frequenting the house; she would need to find a way to hide any evidence.

"Ohnee-sama. I made some tea."

Lelouch never pressed when her sister stayed home from school. She didn't want to know if the issues were physical or because it seemed that the only friends Nunnaly had were in the student council.

"Nina didn't go to school today. I saw her in the clubhouse earlier… she said that she didn't want to go to class because there is a new transfer student who is an Eleven. Suzaku's having a tough time, isn't he?"

"Oh… well…" Lelouch sighed, not sure how to erase the worried expression on her sister's face. "These things take time."

"Can't you do something? You love him, don't you?" Lelouch almost choked on her tea. _Damn Nunnaly's perception. _For someone so naïve sometimes the younger girl hit the nail on the head.

An awkward silence filled the room as Lelouch stared off into the distance. She didn't know how to answer her sister's question. Thankfully (or not) she didn't have to when she saw something at least ten times disturbing. It was a cat. It was a fucking cat wearing the Zero mask. She screamed before running out the door after it yelling for the feline to 'give it back'.

_I don't believe this! I won't stand to be unmasked by such a ridiculous turn of events!_

Lelouch was feeling horribly pessimistic. After chasing the cat halfway around the school and being forced to use her geass on half a dozen students, she couldn't see how it could get any worse. Well Murphy's Law is a bitch and she was proven wrong.

"This is Milly Ashford from the student council. The cat! We are in pursuit of a fleeing cat! All club activities are suspending. All participating clubs will receive additional funds, and whoever catches the cat will get an extra-special chance at a kiss from one of the student council members!"

"DAMN YOU MILLY! You've really done it now!" Lelouch yelled as she rounded a corner. To make things even worse she had lost sight of the cat. _Maybe I should start running even if I do ditch gym class. This is ridiculous. _She was running out of stamina fast.

"Suzaku!" Lelouch said after many ragged breaths. She had been too preoccupied to see where she was going and slammed into the unsuspecting boy. Now wasn't the time to dwell on the fact that she was laying on top of him, however.

"Lulu. You're after the cat, too?" He said after she pushed herself off and began running again. "Up above, eh?" He smiled and sprinted up the stairs past Lelouch.

"Wait, Suzaku! You stay here!'

"But the student council chairman said to catch it!"

"This isn't… the fucking… army…. You don't… have to… catch the cat!"

"I'm the better athlete! You look like you're about to keel over, Lulu."

"Could… see… me… showering… gym class…" Due to her exhaustion it did not come out right.

Suzaku bit back another pervy response as he caught the rear end of the cat through his peripheral vision. It was climbing up the roof. "It's alright, there's nothing to fear." He said in a soothing voice as he followed, grabbing onto random shingles.

"Suzaku, stop this!" Lelouch called out from behind him. He had no clue how the girl was able to catch up to him so fast. He could have bet that he would find her passed out somewhere.

"No. Just leave this to me."

"Since when did you become so stubborn, you—" Lelouch started to complain before she lost her footing. A feminine shriek escaped her lips before she could mask it.

"Lulu!" Suzaku gazed down in horror at his love sliding down the sleek surface. He abandoned his pursuit to chase after her, his whole body going numb with fear in the process. He grabbed hold of the lowest windowsill that he could manage and prayed that he would be able to reach her. "Are you alright, Lelouch?" He managed to grab hold of her wrist.

"Yes." The voice that responded came out weaker than expected.

Suzaku pulled the distracted girl up from where she was dangling over the edge. "You're too carefree to be up here." He said teasingly once she was safe within his arms. Despite his declaration of distance last night, Suzaku held onto his cross-dressed love interest until his body stopped trembling.

"This is quickly becoming a habit." She mumbled against his chest torn between whether or not she wanted to pull away. The whole school was watching them after all.

"I don't mind."

Suzaku was surprised when Lulu didn't argue with him when he sternly told her that he would get the cat off the bell tower. Rather she laughed and said that she would meet him on the ground. Without any distraction he was able to retrieve and carry the grey tomcat without issue.

"So it was that cat from before." He mumbled to himself slightly surprised that it wasn't attacking him. It stayed limp in his arms the entire time he carried it down the tower. The only indication of its distrust was a constant hiss.

"Thanks for saving our Lulu!" A red haired girl said running up to him. Suzaku couldn't hide the shock from his face that someone was addressing him.

"Not bad, new kid!" This time a boy was speaking. Suzaku figured these must be two of the members the student council that Nunnaly was speaking about. She had mentioned that at least one of the girls had a crush on the male version of Lelouch.

"Did it have something with it?" A blond girl said enthusiastically. An introduction wasn't needed for Suzaku to know that it was Milly. The description of her personality matched perfectly.

"It looks like it had something on its head, but I couldn't see. It must have fallen off at some point."

"Eh? Where's Lulu?"

"S-He said that he's lost something and to go on ahead."

"That it! That's the embarrassing secret!" Milly yelled, pointing a finger towards Suzaku.

"Are you certain of that, Chairman?" Lelouch said coming out from the shadows. The annoyance in her voice was evident. She has successfully hidden the Zero mask and was in no mood to be on guard regarding her (lack of a) love life as well.

"Ahhh… I can never get any useful dirt on you!" Milly pouted.

"Do you two know each other?" Kallen said from where she was standing near Nunnaly.

"Well, He's an Eleven." Nina said with a hint of anxiety in her voice. Lelouch bit back a snarky response. She was tired of the racism. She was done with people treating Suzaku differently.

"We're friends. Chairman, would you mind allowing him on to the student council? In our school, you have to belong to some kind of club but…"

Milly had an odd look on her face. She was obviously plotting something. "I suppose I have no choice, since it's a request form the vice-chairman." After a pause an evil smirk showed itself. "Only if you get your reward kiss from Lulu though."

"What? Lulu, you don't have—" Suzaku began before he was cut off by soft lips pressed against his. Due to her model like height, all Lelouch had to do was tug on his arm slightly and stand on her toes to reach him.

Suzaku instantly forgot that they were being watched by a crowd of people and reached up to cup his lover's cheek. She smelled and tasted of peppermint and he wanted nothing more than to pull her closer and deepen the too chaste of a kiss.

Lelouch was shaking and her breath hitched the moment their lips touched. Her whole body felt warm and sticky and the layers of fabric against her chest felt uncomfortably tight. She didn't expect it to be like this: in front of a crowd of people. Yet, the fact that the person she was pressed against was Suzaku made it all ok. A giggle caught her attention and she pulled away, face flushed. She stared at the ground and waited for her heart to stop beating so fast or for her temperature to return to normal. Whichever was first.

"Lulu, was that your first—" She heard Suzaku's concerned voice through her embarrassed haze.

"Don't say it."

If the two weren't in their own little world at least one of them would have noticed the knowing smirk on the student-council president's face.

* * *

A/n part 2: Guess I wasn't done. Expect the next chapter in a couple weeks. I want to update my Blue Exorcist fiction next.


	8. Chapter 8: Episode Seven Ignore

**Episode Seven Ignore: Abandoning it All**

"I'm sorry to make you look over my homework." Suzaku said, though his tone seemed more relieved than apologetic. He had never been the best at school; excelling in athletics rather an academics. Pair that with working sporadic hours and an advanced curriculum that he couldn't get out of, and the jock was completely overwhelmed.

"It's alright. There's no way you could commute to a normal school after all." Cecile said with a sweet smile and she read over Suzaku's chicken scratch handwriting. It was true. Part of the reason that the school was growing in popularity was because it gave the option of self-study. The attendance policy was lax leaving gifted (or in this case busy) students the ability to work on their own side projects.

"I'm having my friends from the student council help me, but it's pretty tough."

"To tell you the truth, I was a bit worried about you. I thought the kids at such an exclusive private school might bully you." Her eyes were caring, as if to she were guising a question in the statement.

"I was prepared for that." Suzaku looked down at his textbook with an absentminded expression on his face. "I happened to meet an old friend there, and she's been helping me out a lot." His thoughts drifted to the innocent kiss that they shared. Lulu had even sacrificed her first kiss to make sure that he would fit in.

Cecile giggled. "Treasure this friend of yours. If things continue to progress between you two, you'll know your meeting was providence and not coincidence."

"Y-Yes." A faint blush appeared on the pilot's face followed by an awkward silence.

"Why don't you try one?" Cecile said in an attempt to change the subject. Her thoughtful nature prevented her from snooping too much; thoughtfulness and two common expressions: one about a cat and curiosity, the other about the virtuous nature of patience.

"Thank you." Suzaku said and picked up one of the rice balls that she had made. A strange taste invaded his mouth and the boy tried his hardest to hide his surprise. Sugary fillings were… uncommon at best.

"Jam?"

"I got a hold of some very nice blueberries."

Suzaku didn't have the heart to say anything. The might have tasted good to someone who wasn't familiar with Japanese food. However, Suzaku had a preconception in his mind that rice balls were filled with delicious salty meats or savory spices. Not sweets.

"Alright! Shut it down and get out of here!" Lloyd yelled enthusiastically, though not without a hint of disappointment. "We've nothing to do here, so congratulations! That's all!"

"Ummm…" Suzaku muttered. A mad scientist with some sort of social disorder saved him from his own cruelty. The irony was not lost.

"Go to school. Classes are over for today, but it's important to see your friends too." Suzaku nodded and left to change into his school uniform. It wasn't mandatory to wear it after classes had concluded; yet it seemed to be the norm.

* * *

Suzaku meandered towards the clubroom with a spring in his step, twirling a fuzzy cat toy in the air. Today was the day. If recent events weren't a sign of progress between him and Lulu then he didn't know what was. True, not even a month ago there had been almost a decade since they were parted. However, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The room seemed empty at first until Suzaku noticed long red hair contrast the hues of the rest of the room. Shirley looked up from where she was finishing her work for the cat festival to give an whole-hearted smile.

"Finish with work early today?"

"Yes. There wasn't much, uh, research that could be done today. Where's Lelouch?"

"How would I know where that bastard is."? Shirley grumbled allowing her smile to falter as she gave the boy an uneasy look. "How did you and Lulu meet? He's never talked about anything before Ashford before."

Suzaku hoped that his silenced didn't seem suspicious in any way. Him and Lulu never came up with a story on how they became friends. It had never even occurred to him that someone would ask, as silly as that sounds. He began playing with the cat as he reminisced on the first time that he saw striking eyes. When his Father instructed him that he was to look after the two princesses.

Of course, he didn't find anything striking about Lulu at first. It took months for the two of them to get along and only part of that was due to a stereotypical war between young boys and girls. Despite her long raven hair and frilly dresses Lulu was quite the tomboy as a child. At least, once she decided that anything that "the complete idiot" could do she could do better.

"I was raised living on a traditional shrine. It wasn't uncommon for us to get many visitors, even from foreigners, during festivals and holidays. Lelouch always wanted to help with the fireworks."

"Oh, so Lulu lived here before this area was developed. Was he an immigrant?"

"What about you?" Suzaku said not daring to take his attention away from Arthur.

Shirley was the only member of the student council who made him feel awkward. One would think that Nina would, with her obvious fear of him; however, that was the reaction that Suzaku expected most. It was of no surprise. Rather it was the cute, sweet, energetic, yet not overbearing (like Milly) member of the group that caused him to feel like him to feel….. something despite how incredibly nice she was to him.

"I guess I'm about the same. Lulu is just so indecisive. He doesn't take his studies or anything else seriously at all…. I couldn't bring myself to like him at first."

Suzaku became still. That was it. His irrational paranoia was revealed to be intuition. Him and Shirley were love rivals. Or were they? It had been almost a week and no one ever mentioned "the kiss." Lulu gave no indication that it meant anything, besides her obviously flustered appearance that disappeared shortly afterwards. Did she react that way because she was ashamed of giving her first kiss away in such a situation, or to him?

Between work, school assignments, and getting used to the no longer being an outcast, there had not been an opportunity for him and Lulu to spend time alone together. His original plan was to confess, thinking that the girl's reaction was an indication of romantic feelings. He hadn't thought until now that perhaps such a reaction was due to shame of him. After all, Lulu was dressing as a boy. It wasn't too far fetched to wonder if her sexual interests matched the repetition of the gender she branded herself to be to the rest of the world.

"My, my…. Isn't love nice?" Milly said in a praising voice from where she leaning against the wall. Her mischievous nature forced her to stare at shell-shocked boy. This was quickly becoming a romantic comedy and she loved it.

"Love?" Shirley exclaimed and twisted to face Suzaku with wide eyes, her suspicions confirmed.

"Um. Well. He-he is my best friend."

"And that's all?" He could only see the frantic expression on the swimmer's face since Suzaku felt like he was drowning in embarrassment himself.

"Do you think that Lelouch is into guys?" A smirk crossed Milly's face as she watched both teenagers try to hide their emotions: the cute boy trying to hide his excitement at the perspective and the pretty girl trying to hide her disappointment.

"Well he's never shown interest in ANYONE before so I would I know. The only thing Lulu cares about is gambling and Nunnaly."

"So a sis-con? Or him and Rival always go gambling together. Maybe they are partners in more than just con artists."

'MILLY! LELOUCH AND I ARE NOT GAY TOGETHER!" The look Rival had on his face as he entered the student council room was a mixture of anger, embarrassment, and relief for arriving in enough time to avoid one more cock-block between him and the chairman.

"How disappointing. That would have made for a fun harem plot." Milly said between giggles.

* * *

Lelouch woke up with the worst hangover of her life. No, she didn't drink anything last night so that wasn't correct. Migraine maybe? Either way her head hurt like hell and the nausea was unbearable. The overwhelming smell of pizza wasn't helping either.

"Is that the only thing that you eat?"

"I'm wanted a cheese-kun. I told you last night I was only two stickers away. Sleep well?"

The undertone of that question was not lost on Lelouch as the events of the day before flooded her mind.

"_You're going to take the enemy's bait, then?" C.C. asked in a lazy tone from where she was curled up on the bed. _

"_They've gone through the trouble to invite me. What do you think would happen if I don't show up? It will be a blood bath. Besides. There are some things I would like to ask Cornelia. It's a win-win-win situation: Zero gets more publicity, innocent lives are not lost, and I will have the answers I seek." _

"_Which do you think is more important, destroying the Britannian empire, or getting revenge for your Mother's death?"_

"_Those two are one in the same. The royal family fights within itself in order to determine which of them is best suited to ascend to the throne. No, that man makes them fight. It's the same ideals that are projected throughout the whole realm." _

"_Yet isn't that the strength of the Britannian empire? The strongest of them win out. Survival of the fittest is the rule of nature."_

"_Then what about Nunnaly?" Lelouch fought to keep her voice down. Her anger that she believed to be righteous seeped through her every pore. "Am I to abandon her simply because she's weak?! I will never do that. No, I would rather destroy the world than live by that system."_

_An icy feeling swept over Lelouch's body as the truth of those words penetrated her consciousness for the first time. Those thoughts were her deepest desires, her criminal priorities, and hypocritical nature. The nature that she spent so long hiding, that as much as she criticized others for being selfish; she would sacrifice everyone and everything for her own selfish desires._

"_Don't go, Lelouch." C.C. said, suddenly breaking the taller girl from her inner monologue. She blocked the door and pointed a gun at her accomplice yet her face was nothing more than a blank stare. "I can't have you dying before you fulfill our agreement." _

"_Don't you think what you're doing in rather counter-productive?" Lelouch said with a sneer._

"_No more than your own logic. Weren't your wishes to not let your beliefs get in the way of your ultimate goal? What do you think you are doing now? You won't survive with an inability to make hard decisions."_

"_I'm attacking Cornelia as Lelouch. Not Zero."_

"_Those will become one in the same."_

"_Are you a seer now also? What difference does it make to you or can you not use geass?" C.C.'s blank stare flickered if only for a moment. "I thought not. If you could do it yourself, you wouldn't have asked me, would you?" Lelouch pulled a gun out of her pocket and pointed it at the other woman._

_"Do you think I fear guns?"_

_"Of course you do." Lelouch smirked and turned the weapon towards her own head. I was dead until the moment I met you. I had no direction, no purpose nor free will. I was a corpse pretending to be alive. Living without the power to change course was akin to a slow death. If I must live as I did back then…."_

"_Certainly, such a life would be meaningless." C.C. said sympathetically. The arm holding the gun began to slack but it wasn't pointed at the ground until after she pulled the trigger. "Yet not enough to make me change my mind."_

_Lelouch fell to the ground with a resounding thud. That didn't hurt as much as she thought that it would. With half lidded eyes she looked down at her leg with a sly smirk. When the witch bought a trank gun was beyond her. _

C.C. didn't look up from where she was admiring her new stuffed animal. Somewhere in Lelouch's mind she registered that two more pizzas must have been added to her tab between yesterday and this morning. That witch must possess the strange power to not die or gain weight.

"The outcome was exactly as you planned."

"Exactly as I planned?" Lelouch said in a confused voice.

"Yes. Despite the media's attempt to skew the story, the events of last night can still easily be seen as a massacre of defenseless ghetto residents. Even those who bought into the 'Honorary Britannian' system will likely be disgusted with the display, considering it was announced prior. The citizens will not overlook that the terrorist activity in the area was negligible and Zero was not present."

"I don't remember…"

"No. You wouldn't."

* * *

**A/N: So ten billion apologies for how long it's been since the last chapter. I bet you thought I wasn't going to continue this didn't you? Well, I kind of did too honestly. I won't though. I have/had an interesting plot lined up once I break away from the cannon... buuuutttt it's been so long I forgot most of it. Note the filler chapter :) There's one point here that was leftover from when I started this meager 2,000 word document 4 months ago. **

**So. Requests for a beta and/or someone I can bounce ideas off of would be LOVELY. I feel really lost on how to structure things now because I never made an outline or anything formal like that. I basically just remember how I wanted to end this story and random things but yeah that's it. So someone to talk to about new ideas and remind me to write more chapters would be great. **

**I also have horrible baby brain since I've got less than 2 months to go! Oh my how time flies when I actually have things and have horrible morning sickness (which doesn't only last a few weeks. Don't believe the LIES) and fatigue! **


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